Siblings form a special bond. Hopefully, that bond winds up being one of friendship and family ties, but don't panic if peace and harmony don't reign over your children's lives in the teen years. This is normal and should pass.
Each of your children is special. Each has his or her own talents, abilities, and personality. This is what you need to focus on as a parent.
By focusing on these differences, you can help each of your children grow to his strengths. This doesn't mean your son won't ever accuse you of treating his siblings better. That's a part of life, and it's easy for a teen to try to manipulate his parents through guilt. Each child will have times when he needs more of your time and attention. This is normal.
When your children fight, talk to your son about what it will be like when he grows up. Explain to him how siblings, while annoying now, are potentially the most wonderful family he will have when he is grown. They share the common bond of the same family story as well as similar values. This is a built-in community, no matter how far apart they are from one another. The fights today are the friendships tomorrow.
If your son is very distant from his siblings in age, he may seem more like an only child. Take the initiative to keep him connected to his siblings: have an older son read to younger siblings or have him attend events for younger siblings.
Siblings offer a great opportunity to learn about emotions — positive and negative. Fighting is part of the territory. You need to decide how to handle it and stick to your guns.
Will you allow them to fight? You may not have much of a choice. Do you really want to be judge and jury? Probably not. The important thing is to make it clear that you refuse to take part in their fights. Fights for attention should stop pretty soon. Fights sometimes do become physical. If they become violent and include items like knives, it is important to get counseling for your children and family to help resolve what is not normal sibling rivalry.
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