Music and Music Videos
Music is an important part of being a teenager. There are MP3s, CDs, and radio stations, bands who tour and bands who don't, and no matter what they sound like to you, they all mean something to your son. The question lies in where you and your values fit in with the music your son listens to.
Music helps your teen find his identity. It can also be something that helps him identify with other teens his age. Music, and especially lyrics, can help define social and cultural interests.
Because music is so significant to your son, it is very important to know what he is listening to on a daily basis. Ask him to share some music with you or let him choose the radio stations when you drive somewhere together. This can be a good way to talk and yet show him you are interested in what his music is about. Don't worry if it's not your style or if you don't like it; he doesn't really expect you to, but it shows him that you care.
Just because music is important to your son does not mean you should give him complete and free rein on the music he listens to every day. Most teens identify with the lyrics. Typically they are drawn to lyrics and music that concern the struggles in their own lives — growing up, love, cars, dating, and other teen topics. This is a healthy thing for your son — to a point.
The problem is when song lyrics contain words and ideas that are racist, sexist, or pro-violence. Popular songs feature lyrics about gang violence and glorify drugs, rape, and other dangerous topics. Teens who are drawn to violent music and who exhibit anti-social or depressed behavior are at a greater risk for problems, including drug and alcohol abuse and other risky behaviors. Listen to your son's music with him. If his choices are illegal in nature, nix them, but be careful when doing this.
Music videos are also an issue for most families. When MTV started in the early 1980s, the videos were novel, and they very quickly became the coolest thing on television. Today, music videos are available on the Internet and on television.
Music videos can link disturbing images to the lyrics. Since many of the lyrics are garbled, the pictures are what may stay with your son. The videos can be overly sexual or violent, and music videos aren't rated like movies. You should sit down to watch television and watch the music videos just as you would any other program. Be sure to talk to your son about what he is seeing. Tell him what you find wrong with the video. Ask him questions and see what his responses are.
