Earning and Respecting Privacy
Teens demand more privacy, and parents have a hard time estimating how much their child deserves. There has to be a happy medium between allowing your son room to grow and keeping an eye on him to ensure his health and safety.
Privacy allows your son to learn and grow. It gives him space to think and work through issues on his own. Having time and space to himself ensures that no one else is crowding him or just plain annoying him.
Fact
You and your son have established a foundation of mutual trust and respect. You will lose all of this if you snoop. But you can suspend his right to privacy if you suspect your son is doing something very harmful and will not confess to it.
The issue becomes a problem when your son completely withdraws. While he may do this in the name of privacy, there is a difference between a healthy growing space and total isolation. As a parent, you are the best person to make the call on how much is too much alone time. Many professionals say that to gauge this, parents must look at their son's social networks and mannerisms when he is out of his room.
There are warning signs for parents to look for when trying to decide that their son has too much privacy. These signs may include:
Bad grades
Changes in weight
Changes in friends
Changes in social life
Lifestyle changes, including sleeping and eating habits
Essential
Granting privacy may be very hard for you if your son has broken your trust before, but it is important that you allow him to earn back this privilege. Set up the rules and start slowly.
While warning signs may call for some action, you may not need to take away all privacy. There still has to be some modicum of privacy, assuming there is no immediate risk of harm to your son. When you aren't sure what to do, it is always wise to seek the help of a mental health practitioner for advice.
