Religion and Spirituality
The belief in something bigger than you is a powerful force for many adults. The feelings a teen has can be quite different. While many teens do think that they are nearly indestructible, many also enjoy a sense of spirituality and religion.
Religion is an important part of many people's lives. No matter which religion you and your family are a part of, research shows that faith affects teens positively, through an increase in self-esteem or a drop in the use of drugs.
Fact
In the teen years, your son may seem to pull away from organized religion or the religion that he has been raised with in your home. If he wants to explore other religions, offer to go with him or send him with friends.
The social and peer groups that are part of your religious or spiritual organization tend to echo your philosophy. Having your values reiterated in another location can be a very big boost for you. In any case, be sure your son knows that he can always talk to you if he hears something he doesn't agree with — your religion doesn't trump your son.
Some studies have found that religious involvement did not help teens when they felt that their religion chastised them or looked down on them. This rejection can lead to an increase in depression in teens.
Essential
Fighting about getting up in the morning to go to services is probably not high on anyone's list. If you are having trouble getting your son out of bed, consider trying a service at a different time. You get the benefits without the fight.
To ensure that your son is having a positive experience with organized religion, be sure to stop and talk to him. Does he go to services regularly? Is he a part of a youth group? Do you know who is in charge of activities for your son's age group? You should also make sure you know what your son is learning and doing when hanging out with the youth group.
Your son may find he feels more religious than you do. Perhaps you don't attend any kind of services or only attend at major holidays. Your son may find friends who attend a local service and include him. You have to decide how you feel about that, especially if your son becomes involved in a religion you don't share.
It can be difficult for your son to attend services you know nothing about. You may not be interested in going with him regularly, but check them out to help him realize he has your blessing.
If the religion or service is something you aren't comfortable with, talk to your son about your feelings. Before you do so, ask yourself why you don't feel right about it. Don't jump to conclusions without trying it out and talking to your son. Religious differences can be painful for families, but working together with an open dialogue is what your son needs.
Your son's spirituality consists of his personal beliefs, his idea of the purpose of his life. He may or may not express this through religion, as religion is not necessary for an individual to feel spiritual. This sense of purpose may drive your son to be a good person and help him develop a good character.
Occasionally there are things that will rock your son's foundation. A crisis of faith or belief can be caused by any number of events, including the death of a family member or friend, an illness in himself or someone close to him, or sometimes even world events that seem out of control. Help him through the crisis by talking to him or helping him find someone else to talk to.
He may need space to work through his feelings on his own. As a parent, you may find it difficult to realize that you are not always able to protect him, but that is part of growing up. You can do your best to instill strong values in him and trust he will know how to apply them to his daily life.
