Music Mania and Hollywood
Two more areas to be wary of, in regard to your teen girl and her healthy development, are popular music and Hollywood. Both can present false images. While you cannot understand why your girl loves a certain song, you must keep in mind that this situation is centuries old. Think of the type of music you adored when you were an adolescent and how it shocked your elders. They shook their heads in disgust at what they called “that awful noise,” as in, “Turn that awful noise off — now!” As a teenager, you thought your parents did not understand “good music.” Now it is your turn to be baffled by your daughter's selections on the radio or what she uploads on her portable media player.
Do not — like a broken record — repeat your parents' mantra about the “awful noise.” They did their best, but you are the newest and best type of parent. Listen to your girl's music first. Check out her iPod tunes. Maybe you can get an inkling of what makes them so “hot,” in her opinion. Perhaps it is the beat or the background sounds, but pay attention to the lyrics and get ready to be shocked.
Nix Name-Calling
Do you allow your daughter to be called ugly names? Of course not. So do not let your girl listen to the verbal degradation of women or the description of violence toward them, no matter how enticing the melody or rhythm. Simply give each song with an f-word the grade F — it failed. Tell your girl that listening to women being called bad words is condoning it. Besides, you do not allow her to curse. Why then would you allow anyone in the music world to curse at her?
Question
Should I let my daughter download music?
Before you allow your daughter to download music, ask her to research the various options — from free to small-fee sites. Get her to find out from her friends what the best and most price-worthy sites are and discuss with her the realities and legalities. Make sure that you and your daughter make an informed decision together.
Hollywood
Hollywood also is of a mindset that the grosser the language and the depicted scenes are, the higher the gross income. Plus, the movie industry often uses women only as décor, and makes a huge profit from hyper-sexualizing young girls. That means it features barely adolescent girls as femme fatales with a deep décolleté. Of course like any commercial venture, Hollywood is profit-based. Ask your girl to read the movie critiques carefully. Allow her to flex her discerning mind muscles as to what films she'd like to see.
Enjoy some chick flicks with her and enjoy discussing with her afterward what in the movie was factual or based on reality. In those discussions, it will become obvious that, slowly but surely, your girl is getting better at judging what is real and what is just “reel.”
