Computer Safety Basics
The most important computer basic is the skill to use it successfully and with respect. While tests show that kids who have TVs in their bedroom score lower on exams, those who have access to computers score higher. So without a doubt, computers and the Internet can open a door to a vast arena of information and entertainment for your teenage girl, but only with your involvement. Without close supervision, the Internet can do much more harm than good.
Fact
Research shows that in general girls are equally as comfortable on the Internet as boys. But girls have a tendency to use the Internet in a more productive form: They use it for homework assignments, e-mail, and chatrooms. In contrast, boys use it more for entertainment and games.
Therefore, welcome all the positives the Internet offers, but be alert to its potential for enormous negatives. Most parents do not realize that the Internet can be considered a gate to and from your home, with the door always wide open. No matter how many safety features and parental controls you install, and upgrade regularly, someone somewhere will be able to get around any fire walls or other protective measures you add to your computer, come right in, and visit your daughter — and that someone often has predatory intentions. So do not set the computer up in your girl's bedroom. Set it up in the den or kitchen.
Alert
Tell your daughter never to hand out any personal information, phone numbers, addresses, credit card numbers, or the name or details of her school to anyone online. Quite a few sites enable a user to find a street address by entering a phone number or a school by entering the size of its student population and state.
Too many criminals consider the Internet their personal trawling grounds for prey. These days, new Internet criminals pop up every day and often girls are their favorite game because many are gullible. Make sure your daughter is not gullible. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security because she is school-smart, however. Too many girls can be too trusting when it comes to online connections and end up in harm's way. Even if nothing more serious than being exposed to a porn site happens to your girl, avoid the slightest chance it could.
Computer Rules
Instruct your daughter on how to avoid all Internet dangers. She should never open an e-mail or attachment from people she does not know. Do not allow her to visit sites you do not approve of. If in doubt, she must get your permission first. Post a running list of acceptable websites and your computer rules. Show her the “history” feature on your computer and tell her you will check it sporadically. Tell her you trust her, but you do not trust the millions of strangers in cyberspace.
Computer Consequences
If your daughter breaks your computer rules, ask for an explanation. She may have clicked on something accidentally. If she continues to visit dangerous sites, however, you will have to do what you would if — when the times comes — she drives unsafely. You would take away her driving privileges then. So, restrict her computer use to only homework, with you looking over her shoulder. In all likelihood, it will not come to that.
Essential
Discuss the rise of three new Internet crimes with your daughter:cyber stalking — the stalking of a girl over the Net by tracking her every move; cyber impersonation — the assuming of a different gender, age, and appearance, such as an older male pretending to be a lonely young girl wanting to be friends; and identity theft, which can occur when a stranger steals her social security number and runs up huge debts in her name.
Lifetime Cyber Risks
It is not only the potentially dangerous access via the Net to your daughter by questionable characters you want to warn her about. It is also the risk of her sharing something about herself with the cyber universe that can have bad consequences. That is the reason Newsweek called the Internet a “web of risks.” Naïve kids can indeed risk their future as potential college students, scholarship recipients, or employees if they are careless in what they post online.
There are several ad-supported services that are very popular with young people. While your daughter may not be old enough to participate in a social networking site such as Facebook and Twitter, she and her friends will have heard about them. So before she is tempted to reveal anything about herself on that type of network, warn her about the illusion of privacy. Whatever she may post about herself may come back to haunt her. These days, companies planning to hire her, even just for a summer job or an internship, may enter her name not only into a search engine but also research her on the various social networks.
Fact
In 2003 Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg and some of his classmates created Facebook to make the contact among students easier. When he launched the service a year later, it spread quickly at his university and before long to all 2,100 four-year schools. In 2010, Facebook had more than 500 million active members.
For that reason, have your girl learn to draw the line between the benefits of the Internet and its bugaboos. Make her as computer-savvy as possible, and who knows, maybe she can teach you a thing or two as well. Just be sure to remember this: The dangers from the Net are constantly changing, so keep the warnings coming. You do not want to let your guard down.
Essential
Laurie Sybel, a director of career development at Vermont Technical College, advises students to think of their social networking pages such as their page on Facebook as a job application or résumé. She has seen many instances of students being rejected from internships or jobs because of pictures posted of them “partying” on a social-network page.
