Politeness and Proper Language
People tend to become careless with their manners over the years. They are in a hurry, and politeness and proper language fall by the wayside. They forget to send thank-you notes or snap out a phrase they later regret. Most often this is not because they do not care but because their minds are focused on things they just have to get done.
As a parent, however, you want to be in top form as far as behavior is concerned. Your daughter will learn so much by the way she sees you act every waking moment. So by example show her how to be as polite as you can and suppress the tendency to curse. This can be a challenge, but the end result is that you — and your daughter — will be empowered by your solicitude.
An informal survey conducted by several diverse parenting groups in 2004 in North Carolina showed that most kids, when asked, admitted having trouble with the following:
Interrupting adults
Introductions
Avoiding profanity
So tackle these three topics now. If your daughter interrupts you while you are having a conversation with another adult or are talking on the phone, designate a signal. Holding up one hand means you need five more minutes. Teach her to set the kitchen timer for that period. Then she can wait patiently until the bell goes off.
As for introductions, teach your little girl to step up to the person in question, use a polite form of greeting, say she is glad to meet them, and add, “My name is … .” Practice different scenarios at home with her and always give her a gentle reminder before she meets someone new.
Essential
Check out the many new books your library has on “kid etiquette.” It helps when your daughter has a chance to select one that appeals to her. By working with her, you can be sure she will master all the potential sticky situations that may crop up. While society acts as if good manners don't matter, they're more important than ever. They can make a difference between getting a scholarship or not, or between getting hired or not.
Curse Control
In regard to profanity, help your daughter to list a few good substitute words, such as darn, shoot, and rats for the four-letter words that are so commonplace these days. You may think that rudeness and bad language are like an avalanche, coming at you with no let-up. In fact, you may be appalled by the way you hear young people speak to each other and the cursing on TV, even in programs meant for audiences of all ages. Watch them text, and notice how often a “WTF” pops up in their digital communication.
Be heartened, however. Just as one falling rock can start a landslide, shoring up a levee can stop a flood. The same is true for coarse language. As much as possible, avoid using it. You do not want your daughter to have less respect for her parents because you cannot control your tongue. In fact, every time you rein in your outbursts of profanity you rise in your daughter's esteem.
Your daughter will be so proud of you for remaining “cool” and polite even during the most trying circumstances. You show her how you keep calm under pressure. Each time you model a civilized manner, you add to your daughter's mastery of conduct, in word and deed. What a jewel in her crown — and yours.
