Being Cool with Your Daughter
One of the hardest things for mothers is to accept their daughters as they truly are because — it seems — that many times the universe is in a joking mood. Many former tomboy moms get real girly girls, and vice versa. Many social-butterfly mothers get daughters who are shy and like to bury their noses in books. This appears to be the result of a generational pendulum that is invisible. A majority of mothers indeed end up with daughters who are their opposites in personality, preferences, and pastimes.
Obviously nature uses this phenomenon as a way of balancing things. Otherwise an outdoorsy type of mother would have an even more outdoorsy type of girl, and a girly mom would have an even more girly daughter. In the end, we would have nothing but ultra extremes of daughters, and these developments would be just too predictable. So be thrilled about the girl you are lucky you have. She is just right for you.
If you make your life a little happier, you will make your daughter's life a little happier too. You cannot be a good mother unless you are first good to yourself. You know that as a mother you can easily get overextended, so be sure to make room in your life for some free and fun times for yourself — and your girl.
A Special Relationship
The more your daughter tests your parenting limits, the more she makes you expand your abilities. You will feel special because you have a special girl. Should there be a moment when you feel like throwing your hands up in frustration because you may see in your daughter the precursors of mistakes you made in your youth, enjoy the moment.
How? By focusing not on the negatives from which your frustration sprang, but by enjoying your daughter more. Remember a mother is as positively affected by her daughter as the daughter is by her mother. Raising a girl is an important task and benefits you by giving you the chance to experience the following:
Grow and become a better person because you realize how important setting a good example is.
Repeat and relive the highlights of your life because you can share your daughter's special occasions, graduations, and award ceremonies.
Stay young in outlook and even physically because you can experience firsthand the younger generation.
See a part of yourself immortalized before you pass on because you can count on the fact that some trait — big or small — will emerge in your daughter and send ripples on to the next generation. Thus, you will live on and on.
For these reasons, make sure your relationship with your daughter is strong. That requires a back-and-forth connection that is vibrant. Discussing the benefits for both parties involved is important.