Learning to Share and Care
You want your daughter to realize that not everyone is as lucky as she is. Even if she lives in modest surroundings and money is not in abundance, she has you — parents who do their utmost to raise her well. So she is rich, no matter what your bank balance might indicate. Unfortunately, many other children do not have that. Therefore, talk to your girl about her many blessings and help her feel grateful for all she has. This feeling of gratitude may translate into her being willing to open her eyes to other people who are less fortunate.
Whenever your daughter mentions someone who has experienced a misfortune — when she sees on the news a family without insurance whose house burned down or notices a picture in the paper of a girl whose school was destroyed in a war zone or when she sees how hard hit the Gulf zone was hit by the massive oil spill — let your daughter express her feelings of compassion.
Ask her the following questions, or similar ones, to explore her developing sense of sympathy:
What do you think about those people?
Can you imagine what is going through their minds?
Would you like to do something to help them?
By focusing on the lives of other people, she will learn to become less selfish, and by acting on her unselfishness, she will learn to do some good for other human beings. Also, she will join the ranks of many other kids who from early on support people in their neighborhoods who are down on their luck, classmates who experience sudden hardships, someone who has lost a job, or homeless people living in their communities.
Essential
While parents are the main source of advice about money management for their teenagers, 50 percent of girls say they received most advice from their mothers, and only 27 percent say they received most advice from their fathers, according to a Harris Poll.
Giving Lessons
A good way to teach your daughter to share and care is to give her an allowance. Having a little money gives your girl something tangible to share — the fruits of her work around the house and yard. After she receives her weekly amount, she can hold the quarters or dollar bills in her hands and decide to contribute part of it to a worthy cause of her choice.
One rule many parents swear by is the “thirds” rule. It states that one-third of her allowance goes into her savings account, another third is hers to spend as she wants to, and the last third goes to benefit other people in the form of a contribution to a charity she selects.
A Kind Heart
Let your daughter choose a cause that speaks to her. There are many charitable organizations and events, from the Red Cross to school-sponsored fundraisers, to drives sponsored by your place of worship that need your girl's compassionate contributions. They do not only need her financial help but also her time and her kind heart. That means you have a choice — either you become involved in her volunteer efforts, or she accompanies you in the volunteer work you do.
Alert
Do not force your daughter to donate a cherished blanket or teddy bear to charity unless she is ready to part with it. Coercing a girl to become more charitable can backfire and make her less willing to share anything. Do not send some of her money to a fundraising group without first getting her permission. Even better, let her do the mailing or the clicking of the mouse.
It does your girl good to see her mom and dad spending time working in a soup kitchen once a month, or contributing to a toy drive for underprivileged children. She will be excited to go to the store with you to buy new school supplies for students in this country or a continent away who are returning to their flood-damaged schools after a hurricane or tsunami.
Giving Love
Ask your daughter to pack up her outgrown clothes and old toys to be dropped off at a shelter for abused women and children. Ask her if she can find it in her heart to include one of her “best” games or books. Sharing with others does not mean giving them something shabby, broken, or useless. It can be tough to part with a new toy; but if you set an example, your daughter will get the idea. Sharing an item we love is sharing love.
Maybe your daughter and her friends can come up with an activity that brings in some cash. Or they can hold a yard sale and donate the proceeds to a needy foundation, or even start their own.
Fact
Alexandra Scott was four years old when she started Alex's Lemonade Stand. It was her way to raise funds for pediatric cancer research. She was diagnosed with cancer before her first birthday and by the time she died in 2004, word of her efforts had spread around the world and raised millions for her cause.
Your daughter can also make use of her arts and crafts talents to brighten someone's days. She can make colorful placemats for the nearest rest home or bake cupcakes for a shut-in. The possibilities for her to care and share are endless. With you as a role model, she can be a force for good from childhood on. Contributing to the world will make your girl feel just as productive as contributing to your household does. As you observe her, you will find her love toward others growing, her heart opening to the world's needs, and her gratitude shooting through the roof. As a result many other people — her age and older — may benefit from her caring and sharing spirit, now and for years to come.
