Failing Grades and Cutting School
A quick and easy way to check on how much progress your daughter is making is to measure her interest in school. Apathy toward academics is a red flag. Her role as a student is paramount. Therefore, look closely at her most recent report card. If her grades have been sliding, do not wait until the next nine-week grading period is over. Instead, put an interim report system in place.
Be sure to give your cell phone number and e-mail to your girl's teacher and guidance counselor. Be your girl's academic coach, someone who wants to help her solve her academic dilemmas. In other words, always be a problem-solving pro in her corner, and not a punisher who is opposed to her.
Early in the school year, identify at least one member of your daughter's school staff who is accessible to parents. This does not have to be one of her teachers although that would be nice. Build a friendship with this educator and benefit from his or her inside knowledge of the school culture and customs.
Favorite Subject
Make sure there is at least one subject on your daughter's school schedule that speaks to her. Quiz her about her classes and find out which one she likes best, either because of the material taught, the teacher presenting it, or her favorite classmates. Work on enhancing your daughter's achievement in that particular class. Often doing supremely well in one subject rubs off on her efforts in others.
Alert
When your daughter does not do well in a class, evaluate her capabilities, the effort and time put into the subject, and her teacher's instructional methods. Some girls develop a dislike for a subject that may have nothing to do with the topic and everything to do with factors that can be changed, such as the room location or the quirks of the class or the instructor.
Just as you work on forming a strong and unbreakable bond between yourself and your girl, get busy and fashion one between her and her scholastics.
Good Attendance
Besides keeping a close eye on your daughter's school progress, zoom in on her attendance. Not every girl can have perfect attendance. Some suffer from allergies. Others twist their ankle playing softball. But it is their attitude toward missing school that matters. If your daughter misses a day now and then but does her best to make up her work, you can breathe easily. If she frequently seems to seek an excuse to stay home, investigate why.
Fact
School phobia — a fear of school or refusing to go — can occur in as many as 5 percent of students. It is usually seen in elementary school kids but can also develop during the upper grades. Signs include creating excuses and numerous complaints about not feeling well enough to go to school but having no specific symptoms to report.
In middle and high school, skipping a class is often seen as a rite of passage. While boys usually leave the campus, more girls hide out in the bathroom. Make certain that your daughter is not lured into a ditching-class habit that rears its head every time she has a test or a term paper due. By teaching her to take a baby-step approach — doing a little schoolwork at a time — a few days before a major exam or project looms, your daughter will be ready for it and feel no need to cut school.
Parent School
The best antidote for your daughter's lack of interest in school and her poor attendance is to increase your own interest and attendance. Do not just attend the mandatory conferences; set up some meetings before your girl begins to slide. Sign up for a school committee or two, and get immersed in the SAT study program your girl's school offers. Help the teacher who runs the program with added practice sessions or proctoring. Ask the office where you might be able to do some real good. Rest assured that your daughter's school can use your help in many ways. The more school-focused you are, the more your girl will be.
If she still makes grades lower than she should and exceeds the absences her school policy allows, check to see how well she sleeps. Some girls suffer from bouts of insomnia. After the onset of menstruation, some girls may in fact sleep less well. Other girls consume too much caffeine in their sodas before bedtime. And still another group of girls stays up after their parents' bedtime to get on the Internet or to go on texting sprees — without supervision.
