Coming to grips with the facts that her birth family cannot be found will be difficult for your child, no matter what her age. This situation is most common in international adoptions or when a child has been abandoned.

If your child is young or still lives at home, you have more control over when to stop searching. No matter what your child's age, you should affirm your child's reality and weep with her about not having enough information, or about the choices of adults beyond your sphere of control. Put your arms around her, tell her you're sorry, and remind her of your love.

It is possible that your child could undertake another search at some point in the future. Several years ago it would have been inconceivable that the Internet would be such a huge tool in adoption searches — there could be new technology years from now that will offer more assistance. It's also possible that information about the birth parents could surface in a few years, such as through newspaper reports about them.

Your support and guidance during the process of searching will strengthen your relationship with your child. Most adoptive parents and adoptees report greater closeness and love for each other, no matter what the outcome of the search was.