Adopting a child with emotional or physical disabilities may necessitate open-ended parenting, parenting that doesn't stop at a certain age. If you are in this situation, be sensitive to what your child needs at various stages. As he grows up, you should shift your thinking to accommodate his reality. However, you can give him the autonomy of an adult by declaring him to be one and allowing him to make choices that don't interfere with his safety or health.

Help your child qualify for Social Security, disability payments, Medicaid, and housing subsidies as appropriate. He may live happily in an assisted living or a group home, supported by your caring, watchful presence. Although he may never be able to live independently, his status as a loved member of your family will give him autonomy.

You will also want to talk with a financial planner to help you ensure your child will be financially stable should something happen to you. This may involve creating a trust. If he is legally incompetent, you need to line up who would become his guardian or conservator, should you no longer be present.