Adoption by Single Parents
According to the latest census data, single-parent homes with children under eighteen make up almost 50 percent of all households in the United States. And more and more single people are choosing to adopt. While in the past some adoption agencies have been wary of single parents, they have come to realize that what's important is not the number of parents a child has, but the quality of parenting.
While agencies in the past have been cautious about accepting single-parent adoption, attitudes are changing, and the sheer number of children needing permanent homes, combined with the flood of interest from single adults, has brought about major changes.
Your greatest challenge may come when you realize the job you're considering is one that's difficult even when two people share it! Parenting solo can be a lonely, frustrating duty, but as most of those who've gone before you will attest, it can also be where you will find your greatest joy.
You might find yourself in a situation like Kara. Kara was a teacher in her late thirties who was worried that she would never find the right man in time to have a family, so she decided to adopt. She adopted a beautiful little girl from Russia she named Emma. Kara relied on her parents and sister as resources: Her parents often took Emma for a weekend to give Kara some free time; and her sister was always available at the drop of a hat to babysit. Kara's friends welcomed Emma into their circle and encouraged their own children to make friends with her. Kara found that being a parent was more challenging than she ever imagined, but the joy that Emma brought to her life more than made up for it.
Single parents need an effective support system. Be sure to have a neighbor or two, as well as a few family members, to assist with child care. No one can do it alone! Backup is important for planning nights out and for help when your child is home sick from school. It's also important emotionally — you need to know there are people you can rely on and talk to when the going gets tough.
Resources are available to help ease the burden of being the sole breadwinner and disciplinarian and main child-care provider. Start by accessing
Having the sole responsibility as a parent can seem overwhelming at times. Don't try to do everything yourself — reach out to family and friends and be sure you have a support system that extends beyond your day care. You need a long-term person, such as an extended family member, who will support you in your parenting role. Continuity and stability are essential, so look for someone who's stable enough to be there for you over time.
