Being “The Adopted Kid” at School
For some reason, the perception among many teachers and administrators is that being adopted means a child will have more emotional and mental problems than the average child. However, children who are adopted in early childhood are no more likely to have problems than biological children. In most cases, adoption by committed, enlightened parents ameliorates the harm to children who may have been damaged by illness, accident, or toxic parenting.
You must decide what sort of information your child's school needs to further her education. Here, again, your child's age and circumstances of being placed in your home are the defining factors. A lot will depend on the particular form of your adoption and behaviors that may stem from the situation. If your child was adopted as an infant, the adoption may not be relevant information. If your child is ten years old and was adopted last week, the school will need this information.
The teachers should know enough about your child's background to deal with her and optimize her chances for academic success. Don't share the gory details though. A simple “She was neglected (and or abused) and is afraid much of the time” will suffice. Knowing that your child cannot control her behavior without an adult nearby will allow her teacher to plan how to work with the behavior.
If your child has fear and past abuse issues, she may not be able to learn easily. She may mask her fears with bravado, being numb, or acting out in a way that causes havoc in the classroom. Her brain has been wired for danger, not learning. It may take years for rewiring to finish.
Your child needs a diet high in protein, complex carbohydrates, fruits, and vegetables, combined with exercise and plenty of sleep, in order for her brain to function at optimum levels. You should avoid feeding her saturated fats and empty calories, but don't cut out unsaturated fats, like fish oil. Check with your pediatrician about a well-rounded diet for your child's age group.
Work with your child's teacher to make her understand that your child needs clear structure and probably won't respond well to having too many choices. She also should be seated close to the teacher, so the teacher can correct inappropriate behavior. In addition, she may need a personal aide who, if prescribed by your therapist, should be provided through the school district.
Testing can be a challenge for children with emotional or learning disabilities. The regular testing that occurs at mandated intervals in schools may not work for your child. You need to go to your school district and request a more direct, thorough approach. This kind of testing usually takes four to six hours and must be administered by a neuropsychologist. Most school systems do not provide testing this thorough.
