All teens shift their focus to the wider world outside their families as they progress toward adulthood. This shift is normal, but your new adolescent likely didn't have a normal childhood, so he probably attached to his peers in an abnormal way, or was rejected by them and has social problems.

Dealing with peer pressures (real or perceived) is difficult emotionally and intellectually. Remind your teen and yourself that your job as her parent is to teach him appropriate behavior to help him fit into and attach to your family. Part of this is helping him learn to cope with the problems thrown his way by his peer group.

You may find that, before entering your family, your teen ran around all night because nobody cared where he was or what he did. He may have had a girlfriend and experimented with sex or been exposed to it at a tender age. Curfews and dating are very real and serious issues, because they relate directly to your family's values.

If your fifteen-year-old teen has already been sexually active and such activity is against your values, you will need support from social services and therapists. If you are unsure how to handle this issue, don't follow through with the adoption until you are clear in your own mind about what you expect and how you are going to provide supervision, information about protection against STDs, and birth control. See Chapter 17 for more information.