Learning to relate to others is an essential life skill. Elementary-aged children must learn social skills such as sharing and empathy. In our culture, social skills are first formed in the home, then in the school system.

If your child has endured privations and abuse, he will probably be developmentally behind his peers and will need special attention and help to catch up. If your child has come to you from another country, he will most certainly need help as he struggles to learn your language, culture, and environment. It's your job to be sure he gets that attention and help at school. Your placement agency should provide advice and post-adoption support — especially pertaining to what kind of education he should have and finding therapists and counselors.

With the guidance of your support group, assess your child's unique situation. Consider his language skills, his ability to understand cause and effect, and most importantly, his trust in and attachment to you. He will accept your decision to give him into the care of teachers when he's ready. Public school programs vary by state, and yours may have an intervention program for children with speech and cognitive delays. There may also be a special program for nonnative English speakers, also called English as a Second Language (ESL).

You will have to decide which educational route is best for your child. If he comes to you from a foreign orphanage, the language barrier can make him very uncomfortable in a public school setting, but he'll learn English more readily if he's around other children. Also, unless you speak his language fluently, you won't be able to teach him much at home. With input from your trusted support system and adoption professionals, you can figure out just how to get his education started and focused.

You may have to try a private school or homeschooling, as well as traditional public school, before you find the right fit. If private schools are too expensive, do what many parents do — join a homeschooling association, like the American Homeschool Association, and band together with other parents to combine the best qualities of private and homeschools. Only you and your child's therapist can determine exactly what educational path to follow. You will also need to meet your state's homeschooling laws if you choose to educate him at home.

If you have a homeschooling group, your child can get personal attention, while combining field trips, sporting events, and specialized classes like music and art in the company of other homeschooled children. This arrangement will give him the socialization he needs, while keeping him close to you until he's ready for the wider world.