Perhaps you have faced the following dinnertime quandary: You're in the mood for a sirloin steak and mashed potatoes, but your fussy two-year-old wants only macaroni and cheese. What do you do? Ideally you find a way to make meals that please everyone. To keep everyone happy, it's helpful to keep some rules in mind.

• Children like simple foods. If you want to serve a steak dinner with potatoes and vegetables, keep the sauces and heavy spices off your two-year-old's servings.

• If you find something your two-year-old likes, stick with it. For example, if he loves cheese, feel free to include it in most meals, which might encourage him to eat other foods (like cheese on vegetables or cheese on whole-grain bread).

• Think outside the box. If your child loves oatmeal, give it to him for dinner every once in a while. Breakfast foods are great dinners for small children.

• Your two-year-old won't starve as a result of pickiness. She might not eat dinner or she might eat only a few bites, but eventually she will eat.

These are generalizations, of course. Some children (even two-year-olds) love all kinds of adult foods and never develop a taste for packaged foods. If that sounds like your child, consider yourself lucky.

Even holding realistic expectations about the way your toddler eats — small portions and more frequent meals and snacks — you may still have a poor eater on your hands. Perhaps your two-year-old eats only one food, doesn't eat enough, or eats only sugary foods. If you have a troublesome eater on your hands, first be careful not to turn the issue into a power struggle between the two of you. To avoid such a situation, offer her all the foods you'd like her to eat without commenting on the importance of eating one over the other or telling her how much she should eat.

Then, if she's still not eating, try to determine whether you have unrealistic expectations. Look at her two fists together and compare their size to the amount of food she's eaten. Is it really that much less? Or perhaps she's not eating for a reason. Two common reasons that children don't eat are illness or a behavioral issue. Ask yourself: Is she sick? Do the foods you prepare simply not appeal to her, or is she trying to use food as a means of controlling a situation?

There are times when your two-year-old refuses to eat and you have to determine how to handle the matter. Should you let her get up from the table? Should you make her a different dish? How can you tell what's really going on?

You should always offer your two-year-old the same food you've made for yourself or for the rest of the family, keeping in mind that she won't eat as much. First, let her sit without you commenting on what she's choosing or not choosing to eat. Then see what happens after the meal. Does she expect dessert? Later, does she eat a snack that isn't as healthy as the meal was? If so, you might well conclude that she's trying to eat only food she likes and to avoid the healthy foods you're serving her.

On the other hand, if she's not substituting snacks, the likelihood is that she's either sick or doesn't need to eat as much as you think. If she seems healthy and energetic, the latter is probably the case.

Two-year-olds can take a long time at the table, picking at their food or even ignoring it for a span of time. As much as you want your child to eat quickly, try to let her eat in relative peace. At two, she won't really be able to sit still for long or necessarily be engaged in the dinner-table conversation.