Experts now agree that sleep is a habit, a learned phenomenon. Human beings are not born with the ability to fall asleep easily and to sleep soundly. It turns out that children need to be encouraged and taught to fall asleep. You should respond to all crying during the first few months of your child's life, no matter what time it happens. Infants need security and emotional warmth more than anything — and when they cry, they need you. Around her first birthday, you will probably need to teach your child how to go to sleep, which means establishing a routine and a setting that is restful and encourages sleep.

A routine isn't foolproof, but it's a great habit to get into for many reasons. First, bedtime routines will give you and your family a schedule to work around. Also, since the time after dinner is when your child is winding down and may be cranky, having a routine will give you and your baby something to rely on and look forward to: reading, baths, and cuddling. Bedtime routines are full of warm and loving moments that can often erase the memories of a difficult day.

Some children need to burn off energy before bedtime. If that's true in your house, you might want to incorporate physical exercise into your routine, such as playing Chase Me or Hide and Seek. Even if you are playing actively, turn off the television as you run around. End up in the bathroom or bedroom for washing up, brushing teeth, and diaper changing. If you want, transition from the physical activity to quiet time by telling a story. Then start the reading and lullaby routine, ending with the lights out and a kiss goodnight.

If your child is overtired, it may take a few more minutes than usual to get him to settle down enough to start your routine. You can help soothe him by dimming the lights, turning off the television, and speaking in a soft voice. Try not to respond to your child's behavior in a way that creates a power struggle, and instead let him wind down on his own.

While you will need to create your own bedtime routine based on things like your furniture (will you lie on the bed to read stories or sit in a rocking chair?) and personal taste (music or no music?), here are some examples of good bedtime routines and the situations in which they work.

Sample Bedtime Routine 1

For a child who is already a little sleepy

1. Give your child a bath with a lavender-scented oil, which encourages rest.

2. Turn down the lights.

3. Lie in bed with him or hold him in a rocking chair.

4. Read a short story.

5. Sing a song.

6. Rock him for a few minutes.

7. Put him in his crib or bed and rub his back.

8. Turn off the lights and leave the room.

Sample Bedtime Routine 2

For a child who needs to burn off excess energy

1. Turn off the television. Play some music and play or dance with your child for fifteen minutes.

2. Say, “In five minutes we're getting ready for bed.”

3. At the end of five minutes, turn off the music and bring your child into the bathroom and talk softly. Encourage your child to lower his voice.

4. Bathe him.

5. Brush his teeth and put him into his pajamas.

6. Sit or lie with him in his room with the lights dimmed and read a book.

7. Sing a song.

8. Put him in his bed or crib and rub his back.

9. Turn off the lights and let him go to sleep.

Bedtime routines should feature dim lighting, no television, and quiet. Children need to learn how to go to bed and fall asleep, and you can help them get used to the process.