All parents feel overwhelmed at some point. Perhaps you have a lot on your mind, and when your son asks you to play jack-in-the-box for the twentieth time in a row, you yell “No!” Or your daughter is screaming, resisting being put into the car and tensing up so that you can't fasten her into her car seat. “Stop it!” you scream. Or maybe your son bites you on the arm and you, without thinking and even though you know better, bite his hand. Stories of parents misbehaving always sound horrible when you hear them, but you may sometimes find yourself acting badly before you even know it.

We all lose our tempers sometimes. Some people yell, some get quiet and walk away (which can be scary to a child), and some people hit — but the thing they have in common is that they lose control and act in ways they don't want to.

Don't be embarrassed to share with friends your stories of losing it — as long as they are the kinds of friends who will share their stories, too. You may be embarrassed, but it will reassure you to know that all parents — even ones you consider to be “perfect” — have their moments of distress.

The first thing you need to know is that parents are not doormats; as a parent, you are allowed to have boundaries, too. If your child is really behaving poorly, it is too much to expect that you will be able to deal with it for as long as the bad behavior continues. It's important to recognize that you have limits. Once you know that, you can work to make sure yours aren't stretched too far.

Losing Your Temper

If you start to yell, or you feel like hitting your child, you will probably have a moment when you can stop. So, do that. Take a breath and stop, even if it means walking out of the room or just turning around. Take the time you need to regain your composure and calm down. Then, apologize to your child. Tell her that you're sorry for your behavior, and, more than that, that she isn't responsible for what you did.

If your children are scared because you yelled or because you hit them, try to acknowledge their feelings and talk with them. Validate their experience of what happened. They need to know you are still there for them and that you love them, even if you were angry or behaved inappropriately.

Giving Yourself a Break

Parents who strive to be perfect, with a clean house, well-behaved children, and the whole family always in a good mood, are more likely to notice when little things go wrong. Their desire to make things perfect means they are more likely to turn those minor issues into major ones. There is no such thing as perfect — overly clean houses can compromise a child's immune system, overly well-behaved children are often afraid to let loose, and good moods are just one side of life, not the whole experience. You might try these tips:

• Hire someone to clean your house when your to-do list seems overwhelming.

• Go to a movie that is entertaining and isn't too serious.

• Have a night out with friends to remind you that you are a grownup.

• Pamper yourself with a day at the spa.

• Turn on some music and dance.

• Rent an exercise video and exercise while your child naps.

Do these things while someone else is watching your child or when he is asleep. Time off from parenting is necessary because it allows you to recharge and get the energy you need to take good care of your child.

Strive for balance and moderation. Give yourself a break so that when you are doing the job of parenting you can be present and enjoy the job. Figure out what you need to take care of yourself. Whether it's enough sleep (a biggie for most people), time to read, a few gym workouts each week, or dinner out every so often, make sure you get it!