Chances are that if your one-year-old has a sibling, he or she is older, and any issues of sibling rivalry stem from the older child. One-year-olds in general tend to adore older children (in fact, most children do). Any issues that come up will most likely result from the older child's feeling bored by the crying or feeling threatened or bothered because the one-year-old requires so much parental time and attention.

If your older child is having trouble getting used to her younger sibling, remember that she remembers life without the baby and there are moments when she probably wishes she had you all to herself. Your older child will appreciate you making the time to nourish your relationship with her as much as you nourish the relationships of your expanded family. Some routines that you used to have with your older child, such as reading to her at bedtime or making her a special breakfast, should continue for her peace of mind.

The most important thing you need to know is that your kids want you to settle their arguments for them, whether it is in their favor or not. They just want you to be involved because it is a way for them to control you. “Let's watch Mom lose it while we fight,” they might as well be saying. “Isn't it a wonder what power and control we have over her?”

Allow some low-level bickering, as it is natural for kids to be competitive and have conflict. If it gets out of hand, separate them with words or physically, if necessary, but don't say anything or pass judgment. Do not get involved verbally or emotionally. If kids get an emotional rise out of you, they win, and the drama will certainly be repeated.

Brothers and sisters fight. Even when they are best friends, or maybe even because they are best friends, the need to share toys, parents, and space, along with their age differences (or closeness), sets the relationship up for friction as well as connection, support, and fun. It's important to remember that your children's relationship is just that: your children's relationship. You cannot create it or control it. You can help them with it and set boundaries and guidelines, such as “We don't hit” and “We help each other,” but you cannot make them like each other, have things in common, or want to be close.

Even so, chances are that if you leave them to their own devices, your children will find a relationship that works for them. And when they get along, make sure you let them know that you appreciate their good behavior.