Temperament and Personality
Temperament can be defined as the prevailing quality of someone's character, the one that the person's close friends would use to describe her — positive and optimistic, for instance, or curious, or wary and fearful. Personality, on the other hand, comprises a wider range of an individual's characteristics, such as her interests, behavior, emotional style, and opinions. Your daughter might have a confident and cheerful temperament, while her love of naps and noisy games would be features of her personality. Your son, on the other hand, might be quiet and somewhat shy by temperament but with a fun-loving personality exhibited in his love of TV time with his father and family mealtimes. In short, you could say that temperament is the mindset we're born with, and personality is the combination of our natural instincts with things we learn.
All of us are born with some natural traits, such as our level of energy, our curiosity in the world around us, and our empathy, while some aspects of our personality are shaped by our environment and experience, such as how warm and affectionate our family is, whether we do well in school, and how much stimulation and growth we are exposed to as children.
Nature Versus Nurture
For the past century and more, parents, educators, and developmental specialists have debated whether nature or nurture is more responsible for determining character. Those in the “nature” camp say a child is born with personality already intact; the proponents of “nurture,” on the other hand, believe that the environment surrounding a child is what influences and creates her. In the day-to-day world of a parent, there is a more practical way of considering the issue. It is your job to discover who your child is and to figure out how you can best help him grow up to feel good about himself and do well in the world; how to find a career he can enjoy and be successful in, how to have meaningful relationships, and how to have integrity.
It may seem early to consider these long-ranging issues, but much of what your child learns in his first few years — that he is loved, that he is valued, and that he matters — will have a strong influence on his character as he grows older.
Fact
The first three years of life are significant because the more stimulation a child has during this time, the more pathways are forged in his brain. This growth promotes not just intellectual but also emotional and creative development. Likewise, the less stimulation a child receives through interaction, the less likely it is that he will respond well to challenge as he grows up.
Getting to Know Your Toddler
Rather than trying to teach your child a love of classical music or a devotion to football, expose her to all sorts of experiences — all sorts of music, many different sports, as well as arts, the outdoors, and a wide variety of food — and see what she responds to. Pay attention to what seems to make your child comfortable and what overstimulates or bores her. For example, some babies and toddlers love bright lights and noise, while this kind of excitement makes others cry. There is an optimum amount and type of stimulation that fits any given individual's comfort zone. Once parents are tuned in to what their child is capable of and enjoys, they should begin to challenge the child and give her the opportunity to really explore and enjoy those activities.
