Let's say you meet up with your best friend, whom you haven't seen in a while. You greet each other warmly, and then you spend the next hour talking and laughing together. Your baby might be hiding behind your leg for this greeting, but make no mistake — he is watching you. He is paying attention to cues from you that give him important information about how to behave around other people. Things like your body language, the sound of your voice, and the look on your face tell him that you feel safe and comfortable. He sees that you are happy, that your voice is soft and that you laugh. Even at this early age, he is capable of making associations and beginning to learn that this is the way to behave around friends.

Eventually your child will be able to mimic your behavior in play with other children. At this early stage, however, most children aren't yet sure how to behave with people other than those they see regularly, such as family, day-care providers, and babysitters. Of course, this isn't true of all children; some are gregarious and get right into the thick of things. If your friend has a child, no matter what age, you can encourage your child to play with her. However, keep your expectations age-appropriate. Most children of this age, and even those a couple of years older, are mostly quiet and unable to share. In social situations, your child is likely to look to you for reassurance.

Awareness of Others

Between twelve and twenty-four months, your child is happy to look around and see people in her world, with the key phrase being “her world.” She has yet to completely realize that the world isn't hers or that she is a part of a larger universe. Toward twenty-four months, toddlers develop the awareness that the world is also peopled with other, separate individuals; until then, toddlers comprehend other people as extensions of themselves. Twelve-month-olds are capable of empathy (at least briefly). They may be kind and generous, but these actions are not conscious as much as instinctive. In other words, is isn't reasonable to expect this kind of behavior, and you shouldn't expect your child to share or to play nicely with others all the time. Instead, praise her when she behaves the way you would like her to, but remain calm and consistent when she doesn't.

Mirroring

You are your child's role model in many ways, including the words and tone of voice you use, your actions, and the way in which you treat others. While your child may not comment on your behavior, he is likely to mimic it when he engages in pretend play or play with others and in his interactions with you. You'll frequently hear your own words come out of your child's mouth. In fact, experts think that one reason two-year-olds say “no” so often is that they hear it a lot. So try to be on your best behavior in order to set a good example for your child. Watch the words you use — they may come back to haunt you!

If a family member or friend doesn't have good manners or behaves badly in front of your child, minimize your child's exposure to her. While this is difficult in terms of family dynamics, the alternative — explaining to your child that some behavior has negative consequences, or that you disapprove of certain actions — is impossible. Once your child has established habits of good behavior, you will be better able to discuss other people's behavior and keep your child from emulating it.

Your Little Helper

Straightening up? Putting the laundry away? Enlist your one-year-old's help. Your child will adore being part of the action and will learn from the job, even if it's something as simple as dropping socks into a basket. After she has helped you complete your task (successfully or not), say thank you. Your child will mimic your use of “please,” “thank you,” and, of course, the kisses and hugs you give her for a job well done. Starting a helping philosophy early will help your child (and you) later.