Sex and Intimacy
It's ironic that intercourse is what begins a pregnancy and then becomes something many women aren't very interested in. There are lots of ways to stay connected to your partner during pregnancy, and intercourse is only one of them.
Talk to your health-care provider about any restrictions on your sex life. If you experience vaginal bleeding, leak amniotic fluid, have an incompetent cervix, are having preterm labor, have a history of miscarriages, or are having problems with your pregnancy, intercourse is not recommended.
Sexual intimacy and sex are safe throughout pregnancy, all the way to end. It cannot hurt the baby, who is not aware of what you are doing. Having orgasms does not cause you to go into labor or have a miscarriage. Orgasms can sometimes cause uterine contractions, though. In an otherwise-normal pregnancy, this poses no risk. However, if your pregnancy is at high risk for premature labor or delivery, it is not clear if orgasms that cause contractions may pose a risk; you should speak with your health-care provider.
However, just because sex is safe doesn't mean it's at the top of the list for some women. In early pregnancy, nausea and fatigue can play a big part in reducing a woman's interest in sex. During the second trimester, interest in sex often returns, sometimes very strongly. During the third trimester, backache, fatigue, and the size of the uterus can make sex again become complicated. Many moms will tell you that sex can work to relieve some of your symptoms and can be a great way to relax during pregnancy.
Some women feel nervous about sexual intercourse during the first trimester because they worry it may cause miscarriage. This may especially be true for women who have a problem with repetitive miscarriages or who have had fertility problems. Although there is no evidence that intercourse causes miscarriage, many women still are apprehensive. If this is something you are worried about, it's perfectly fine to hold off on intercourse until you have an ultrasound or until the first trimester is over.
Oral sex is safe during pregnancy, as long as your partner does not blow air into your vagina. The air may enter the large blood vessels that supply the vagina and cervix and travel to the heart; this is called an air embolism, and can be fatal. Anal intercourse during pregnancy is not dangerous, but due to engorgement of the hemorrhoidal veins or hemorrhoids during pregnancy, it may be uncomfortable or may cause bleeding.
Sex toys are something many women wonder about and on which there is no clear consensus. If sex toys are not cleaned meticulously, they can cause infection. If they are inserted too deeply or too forcefully, they can cause injury. If you would like to use sex toys during pregnancy, it's a good idea to talk with your health-care provider first. Don't be embarrassed to discuss this. Any health-care provider will be happy to talk about this and would much prefer to have a frank, unembarrassed conversation than have a patient sustain an injury.
No sexual activity (penile penetration, sex toy, or oral sex) should ever involve going from the anal orifice to the vagina since this can introduce infection. Some women find that pregnancy greatly increases their sex drive. If you experience this, it is completely normal. The hormonal fluctuations of pregnancy play a part in how interested you are in sex.
Because there is increased blood supply to vaginal and cervical tissues during pregnancy, mild vaginal bleeding or spotting may occur after intercourse, especially if the penis bumps against the cervix during sex. If this occurs after sex, don't panic; it does not hurt the baby. You should, however, always contact your health-care provider immediately if any bleeding occurs during pregnancy regardless of the circumstances.
If your partner has oral or genital herpes, you need to talk to your health-care provider about avoiding transmission since contracting herpes during pregnancy can be very dangerous to the baby. Remember that herpes can be transmitted even if your partner is not experiencing symptoms.
Nipple stimulation can definitely cause contractions and even induce labor in the third trimester. The effect can be as powerful as the drug oxcytocin which is used to induce labor. Because of this, excessive nipple stimulation should be avoided during pregnancy. This is especially important in pregnancies already at risk for premature delivery.
If you find you're not interested in intercourse, you and your partner can satisfy each other in other ways. It's important to remember that you can find ways to feel close to your partner that do not involve intercourse or sexual behavior. Just spending time together, holding hands, having him rub your back, or doing things together to prepare for the baby can give you a sense of closeness and connectedness.
In a survey done by Babycenter.com, 40 percent of women surveyed said that pregnancy drastically reduced the amount of sex they were having. For tips and good advice, read
Some women worry that their partner will no longer find them to be attractive as their body changes throughout pregnancy. Usually this is an unfounded worry. A loving and caring partner loves you for who you are and is thrilled to watch as the child develops. Many men find pregnant women beautiful and attractive at every stage. If this is something you're worried about, talk about it with your partner. Find out how he is feeling, and share your own concerns or worries. It is likely you will be able to find a way to keep both of you satisfied and happy throughout your pregnancy.
Another concern of many women is that giving birth will permanently change their vagina so that sex will never be the same again. The vagina is able to stretch and retract. While having a baby does change your body, it does not mean you'll never enjoy sex again or that your partner will not find as much pleasure in you after you have a baby. Wait until after your postpartum checkup before having sex.
