Potty training is a straightforward process. If you feel nervous, it may be because the very word “training” conjures images of housebreaking a pet. Most people don't know how to teach puppies and kittens that the house is not a giant litterbox, so they end up using some pretty heavyhanded techniques on the poor Fidos of the world. For this reason, many parenting experts want to eliminate the phrase “potty training” altogether. For infants and babies, it is potty training, except the parent is more trained than the child! For toddlers it is “potty learning.” Your job will be to serve as coach to work out a game plan and supervise practice sessions, as a teacher to provide instruction, and as a cheerleader to nurture a can-do attitude.

Your Role as Coach

Potty coaches recognize that little athletes need to be well-rested, physically up to par, and emotionally ready to tackle a new skill. If your baby is ill, put her back in diapers. If your toddler is under the weather or preoccupied with other problems, let her choose whether she wants to wear diapers or underpants. While wearing diapers she can practice a skill she has already mastered, such as checking from time to time to see if she needs a diaper change. That way, she continues to work on learning the difference between wet and dry, but doesn't constantly have to worry about the potty.

Coaches also know the importance of standing back and allowing children to struggle on their own. Too much hands-on help deprives them of the opportunity to learn. Too many verbal pointers distract them. On the other hand, coaches must not expect their young charges to do more than they can handle on their own. Otherwise, they become overwhelmed by the frustration of accidents. Pointing out when your child needs to use the potty and giving occasional reminders may be very important until she is better at remembering on her own.

Positive Practice

Coaches also know that when it comes to practice, more is not necessarily better. Conscientious toddlers may end up constantly worrying about having an accident. Too much concentration on toilet training leads to burnout. Sometimes the best course is to put the whole subject out of both your minds for a time. There is more to life than potties!

Good coaches also try to ensure that each learning session ends on a positive note. Always express confidence that your child will learn in time. Pointing out how much he has mastered thus far prevents both of you from becoming discouraged.