Vocabulary Lessons
Children can begin acquiring the potty training vocabulary they need virtually from birth. Decide what words you plan to use, and be consistent! Even older toddlers become confused when parents use different words for the same thing. When you change diapers, talk to your infant about what you are doing so he starts to become familiar with the vocabulary.
Correct Term |
Popular Word |
Toilet |
Potty |
Pot |
|
Urine |
Pee |
Pee-pee |
|
Tinkle |
|
Wee-wee |
|
Urinate |
Go pee-pee |
Stool, Feces |
Poop |
Poo-poo |
|
Do-do |
|
Poopy |
|
Defecate, have a bowel movement |
Go poo-poo Have a B.M. |
Penis |
Pee-pee |
Thing |
|
Privates |
|
Vagina |
Bottom |
Privates |
|
Buttocks |
Bum |
Tush |
If you use baby words, don't forget to teach the correct vocabulary when he reaches school age. A third grader may not confess he has a problem because he doesn't know the right term and is too embarrassed to tell you that his “wee-wee” hurts.
Choosing Words
Some parents think it's cute when their toddler refers to waste as “crap” and “piss,” but everyone from pediatricians to teachers finds such language offensive. Other parents may not want a youngster who talks that way to associate with their children. Don't use these words at home.
Virtually every toddler goes through the sassy phase of calling people “poopy head” and using other unsavory putdowns. If you respond with shock, anger, or glee, you'll encourage him to repeat them. The idea that particular words and expressions can provoke such a dramatic response from you will intrigue him.
Jan Faull, in her book
QUESTION?
My child keeps saying naughty words. What can I do?
If ignoring naughty words doesn't stop your child from using them, be firm as you tell him exactly which words you don't like and which are okay. Admonishing him not to talk “like that” is far too general.
If you tell your child that calling people names isn't nice because it hurts their feelings, only very socially sophisticated toddlers will understand. However, even younger ones can understand that it hurts
Teaching Special Concepts
To teach the difference between wet and dry and between soiled/messy/dirty and clean, use the words often while washing and drying your child's hands, cleaning up spills, and wiping off spots, as well as when changing diapers. Have your child touch the wet item, as you say “wet” so she can feel it. Get in the habit of asking if her diaper is wet or dry. Show her how to reach inside disposable diapers and feel the crotch. After she answers, check and tell her if she was correct. If she wasn't, give the correct answer and have her check again.
Children also need to know what it means to practice, to relax, to have an accident, and to hurry so they understand what you mean when you say, “Practice sitting on the potty,” “Practice relaxing on the potty,” “Practice using the potty,” “You had an accident,” and “Hurry, so you don't have an accident!” They also need to know
Practice makes perfect! To teach that practice is the route to improving, use the word whenever your child is doing something again and again to achieve a goal. For example: “You're practicing eating with a spoon. You're learning to use it”; “You're practicing climbing the stairs. You're getting better at climbing”; “You're practicing putting the puzzle together. You've almost got it!”If your child understands, “Practice sitting on the potty,” she'll be less likely to feel punished when told to sit there. Once she understands that the goal is to practice sitting and relaxing, hopefully she won't become frustrated if she doesn't succeed in using the potty instantly.
Just relax! Teach the meaning of relax by saying, “You look relaxed,” when your youngster is calm and comfortable so he can associate his feelings and sensations with the word. Teaching him how to relax is harder. When he is upset, suggest he take some deep breaths, sit quietly, and think about something that makes him feel happy. The reason that so many children don't use the potty when their parents have them sit on it and have an accident as soon as they are allowed to get up is because they are too tense to release urine until the session on the potty ends. Having your child sit on the potty is not enough. He must be relaxed in order to be able to release waste.
Hurry up! Most parents use this expression so much, children know all too well what it means. Getting them to hurry to the potty can be tricky. A child constantly pressured to move faster than is comfortable soon learns to resist by throwing on the brakes. Telling her to “Hurry to the potty” may cause her to move more slowly or stop altogether. Try to let your child move at her own pace, and only urge her to hurry when something truly important demands it. This concept is hard for most modern families, but slowing down is good for everybody!
Once children have mastered these concepts, they're well on the way to being potty trained even if they haven't tried sitting on the potty yet. Don't underestimate the importance of teaching the basics!
Giving Directions
When your child knows a basic phrase, such as, “Go to …” she will more readily understand a specific direction, such as, “Go to the bathroom.” If she is very young, doesn't hear well, or has some other communication difficulty, she must understand gestures and signals so you can communicate with her during potty training.
If your child knows … |
Your child will understand … |
“Go to ….” |
“Go to the potty.” |
“Tell me when you need/want ….” |
“Tell me when you need/want to go to the potty.” |
“Get some ….” |
“Get some toilet paper/clean pants/a sponge/the potty bowl.” |
“Wipe ….” |
“Wipe yourself” and “Wipe up the floor.” |
“Wash ….” |
“Wash your hands.” |
“Carry ….” |
“Carry the potty bowl to the toilet.” |
“Empty the ….” |
“Empty the potty bowl.” |
With a solid foundation for understanding the general direction (“Go to ….”), your child will be better able to process the specific direction (“… the bath-room.”) quickly and accurately. Toddlers are still learning to make sense of one-step directions, such as, “Go to the potty.” Two-step directions, such as, “Go to the bathroom and sit down on the potty” may be too much. During potty training, wait until your child completes one step before telling him to do something else.
Improving Compliance
Understanding directions is one thing; following them is quite another. Young toddlers are too busy exploring to sit on the potty. As older toddlers become increasingly intent on pursuing their own interests, they become less reliable about doing what they're told.
It is virtually impossible to potty train a child who won't do what you say. To improve your child's compliance so that she will eventually follow potty training instructions, make an effort to notice when she
Of all the directions toddlers need to follow during potty training, the hardest is to relax while staying seated on the potty. Fortunately, even hyperactive children stay seated for short stretches, such as in a high chair, car seat, or grocery cart, as well as while watching videos, listening to stories, or playing with toys.
FACT
If your child is especially contrary and rebellious, learn the fine art of setting and enforcing limits before you attempt potty training. Read
Make it a policy to ignore your child's restless hands and feet and squirms and wiggles. Reprimands will increase your youngster's nervousness, which will cause him to fidget more, not less. Instead, be positive! Help your child recognize that sitting is something he can do by praising him regularly for staying seated. Point out successes whether they occur in the playroom or the grocery store, and hold small celebrations: “You sat in the grocery cart for five minutes! Congratulations! You're learning! How about a ride on the mechanical pony to celebrate?” Chances are that he'll soon be working to impress you with his ability to sit — assuming he can release energy through physically active play before and after. Be sure he gets plenty of exercise!
Too many parents assume that their child is having trouble remaining seated on the potty due to hyperactivity. The problem usually lies elsewhere. Children are simply full of energy, but don't get enough exercise due to modern lifestyles. Turn off the television, eliminate the caffeine, and make sure your child has lots of time for active play before you ask him to sit on the potty.
