Meet the Potty
Parents should be conscientious about teaching the readiness skills (see Chapter 2), but they should not make any concrete moves to introduce the potty until their child shows clear signs of wanting to learn. Signs include:
Trying to use the potty
Wanting to accompany other family members to the toilet
Disliking wet diapers
Persisting in removing diapers
Being upset about diaper changes
Going to a special place to wet and soil
When you think your child may be ready, let him help select a potty and choose underwear he likes. Explain that you are going to teach him to “Put your urine and B.M.s in the potty,” but let him get to know the potty in his own way. Brazelton suggests that you not remove his clothes, as that could be a blow to his dignity or make him afraid.
FACT
Some children like their potty from the start. Yours may well avoid it for a week or two — longer if she has had a bad prior experience, if your nervousness makes her leery of it, or if she has somehow concluded that the potty means trouble. Sit a stuffed animal on it to show her that it's safe.
Move Forward Slowly
Once your child can comfortably sit on the potty clothed, ask if she would like to try it without anything on her bottom. Ask permission before removing your child's diaper, and only remove it if she agrees. Then, if it looks as if she wants to, suggest she sit on her potty while you sit on the toilet, and explain that this is what mommies and daddies and big kids do. When parents demonstrate and verbalize the process of using the toilet, they capitalize on their youngster's natural inclination to mimic them.
Easing into the Next Steps
After a week of demonstrating, take your child to the bathroom to remove a soiled diaper and empty it into the toilet as your youngster watches. Explain that big people put their bowel movements in the toilet every day. Wait to flush until he has left the room.
On another day, ask permission to remove your child's diaper and put the potty nearby so he can use it if he wishes. If he agrees, ask if he would like to be reminded to use it about once an hour. If he says yes but doesn't respond when you remind him, that simply means he isn't ready. Drop the matter until he is. If he does use it, express mild pleasure but do not gush with delight. That takes the victory from the child. He might think he should keep using the potty to make you happy, which creates pressure.
ESSENTIAL
Do not let your child see you flush away his bowel movement. Even if a youngster seems unaffected at the time, the question about where that special part of him has gone can create anxieties and fears that later translate into constipation and potty refusals.
