By removing all pressure, the potty-without-pressure method affords children time to heal from previous negative potty training experiences. It can be ideal for working parents who cannot provide the consistency and time commitment younger toddlers require in order to learn. Since so many parents are using this pressure-free method, the stigma attached to wearing diapers in preschool has all but disappeared. Some children are still wearing them in kindergarten.

What It Means to You

The downside of this method is that parents have to continue to be involved with diapers and cope with accidents for a long time. Moreover, even this gentle approach can lead to struggles. Some children change their mind about the potty and stop using it, but refuse to go back to diapers. If they do not wear diapers, the lack of hygiene can be a real problem in the short-term, and the smell can endure in carpeting and furniture. And if they do go back to diapers, then rashes from urine and allergies from disposable diapers lead to a whole different set of problems.

The recommended way to handle accidents actually does put some pressure on children, too. After all, if parents respond to every spilled glass of milk by saying, “It's okay, you're still young, you'll learn in time, better luck tomorrow,” even the child who enjoys dumping milk and splashing in it would soon get the idea that it's not good to do that. Still, such gentle handling is less destructive than yelling, punishing, and shaming.

Other drawbacks of this method include the ongoing expense of diapers, which is tremendous. The idea of children “wearing their waste” is appalling to infant and baby trainers, as well as to members of the older generation. Continuing in diapers so long may be cruel if a child has chronic problems with diaper rash. Allergies to the chemicals used to manufacture disposable diapers and to sanitize cloth ones can be serious. Then there is the destructive environmental impact. Disposable diapers are the third biggest contributor to landfills.

Commitment and Self-Discipline — Yours

Although the lack of structure and direction are fine for independent, self-motivated, self-disciplined youngsters, other toddlers will need more concrete help, limits, and structure. In many ways, potty training is like learning to read. Some students learn with little help and only an occasional nudge from a teacher. Those who have trouble, or little or no interest in learning, need an active, involved adult. Patience to teach and encourage them and time are necessary if you plan to take this long-term approach to potty training.

Consider that pet owners can housebreak a puppy in short order by taking it outside shortly after a meal and using positive reinforcement to praise it for relieving itself outdoors. However, trying to train an older animal that has developed the habit of going in the house over a period of years makes housebreaking difficult indeed. After two years of constant wetting and soiling, diapers are a hard habit to break.

Still, the theory behind this extremely gentle approach is sound, and parents are wise to consider it.