Holding It!
Besides increasing the risk of accidents, holding in urine for long periods increases the risk of bladder infection. Carried to an extreme, containing urine can stretch the bladder to such a point that it becomes increasingly difficult for children to sense the contractions that signal their need to relieve themselves.
Timed Sits
If your child insists on “holding it” to the point of discomfort or accidents, set an alarm and take her to the potty every hour. Then set a timer and have her sit for a few minutes. Once she learns she must sit out the time whether or not she urinates, and you are equally pleased either way, she won't be hurrying and should be able to relax. When she has accidents, do not make a big deal out of them. Don't even have her clean them up. Just happily say, “There's your urine! I bet you feel better now.”
ALERT!
A few minutes after your child uses the potty, check her pants for additional leakage of urine. If they are damp, repeat the after-potty pants checks each time she urinates. If leakage is a regular occurrence, notify your doctor.
Helping “Pee” and “Poop”
At certain ages, knowing that Mom wants her to “go” may be enough for a tot to decide she doesn't want to. The way out of this impasse is to help her understand that it is not a matter of what you want or what she wants. It's what “Pee” and “Poop” want. And what they want, of course, is to come out! Tell her so.
When your child is trying to prevent urination or the start of a bowel movement, explain that Pee and Poop are trying to get her attention so she will take them where they want to be — in the potty. Or tell her they are begging her to put them where they belong — in the potty. Or they are begging to go to their home — in the potty.
FACT
In the past, teaching children to “hold it” was thought to strengthen the sphincter muscles and help prevent wetting. Now this technique is viewed as potentially dangerous; it can create more serious problems than it can cure.
If your child is caught up in a struggle with herself, and holding in waste to the point of pain, explain that Pee or Poop need her help to get “home.” What she needs to do is to sit on the potty and relax. It might help her to lie down and have her tummy rubbed. Suggest that drinking more water and eating more fruit and vegetables helps make Poop strong enough to get out. Although she would not make the culinary sacrifice for herself, she might be willing to do it for them.
The Circle of Life
Some children are comforted by learning about the circle of life: her B.M. is going to feed the trees and flowers so the plants will grow tall and beautiful. The birds and other animals eat the plants so they can grow big and strong and feed their babies.
From that kind of story, one toddler instantly over-came his reluctance about having bowel movements in the potty. His parents weren't quite sure what happened until they heard their chronically constipated son happily explaining to his sister that the birds eat his “marbles.” Thankfully, he was willing to do his part for the sake of the food chain.
