Emotional Concerns
Even if you've gotten the green light and feel physically ready for sex, you'll probably still have some questions and concerns. Even if your body has healed enough to begin again, you may not feel emotionally ready. The following sections cover some common concerns you and your partner may experience.
Your Partner
It's very common for your partner to be nervous the first time you have sex after your baby is born. He may be worried about hurting you. He may be unsure of himself and also uncertain of his role in your life now that you're devoting so much time and attention to your baby.
Also, watching you give birth may have temporarily changed the way your husband feels about you sexually. While many men report feeling even more loving and attracted to their wives after watching them give birth and nurse babies, some men may have a harder time coping with their partners' new role and changes to her body. This is normal and should pass with time.
You
While it's possible your partner might not feel ready for sex at the six-week mark, it could also be the other way around: your partner is all over you, wanting sex to resume as quickly as possible, and you just don't feel ready. You might be worried that sex will hurt, that you'll get pregnant again soon, that your partner won't be turned on by your new body, or that your baby will wake up in the middle and interrupt you. Remember, the first few times having sex postpartum don't have to be perfect, and with time and patience, the issues that worry you can be resolved. You will grow more comfortable in your changed body, your perineum will heal, and sex will become more and more comfortable and enjoyable.
Alert
Even if you haven't had a period yet, as mentioned in Chapter 11, you may still be fertile. It's very important to address the family-planning issue before you start having sex again, even though it may feel strange after nine months of being able to have sex without worrying about pregnancy. Your midwife or doctor will probably speak with you about birth-control options at your six-week checkup. Revisit Chapter 11 for more information on birth control and family-planning options.
As for being interrupted, parents of young children soon come to expect and accept interruptions as just another part of the deal. Accept that your sex life will be different, and that you and your partner can find creative ways to meet both your needs for intimacy and sex within your new roles as parents.
