Motherhood: Myths and Realities
You've probably read a book or magazine article that started with something like “you may be feeling ambivalent about pregnancy” and ended with “But don't worry, as soon as you're holding that baby in your arms, you'll know you were always meant to be a mother.”
As nice as it would be to believe that this is always true, real life doesn't always include a fairy-tale moment when you realize that your whole life before motherhood was meaningless. It's normal for new mothers to feel a sense of loss: loss of their old, premotherhood identity, loss of their former career if they don't plan to return to work, and loss of the freedom and independence they once knew.
Frustration and Boredom
You may find yourself growing frustrated by not being able to plan your own schedule, or bored with the day-to-day routine of caring for a little person's needs. This is normal and doesn't mean you aren't a good mother, or that you don't love your baby. It also doesn't mean that you won't eventually get used to your new role. With time, you will start to feel bits and pieces of your old life creeping back in, and you'll become adept at balancing your baby with the other things you want to accomplish. Just take the time to enjoy and get to know your baby: the rest will wait, but he'll only be this small once.
Many moms are using blogs — short for “Web log” — to write about the ins and outs of motherhood. Check out
It's Okay to Be “Just a Mom”
Some women, on the other hand, adjust quite easily to motherhood. You may find that you're not eager to return to work, or if you're planning on staying home with the baby, that you don't miss your prebaby life at all. This is also normal, and doesn't mean that the “old you” is gone. Caring for a baby can be fun, exciting, and ful-filling, and it's totally understandable if you find yourself immersed in the little world your baby and you create together.
A Mixed Bag
And sometimes, you'll find yourself wavering between two worlds: intense love for your baby and satisfaction in mothering tasks like diapering and feeding, mixed with intermittent boredom, anxiety, or even anger. This is also normal. New motherhood is an incredibly intense, emotion-filled time, and there's no way to predict what you will feel from one moment to the next.