Even when your child is all grown up, you retain a position of influence in the young adult's life — not as corrector or instructor but as an example. You continue to serve as a model for how to cope with the challenges of life. When adversity strikes, when value conflicts test your integrity, when you speak up or stand up for personal beliefs, when your way of life shows positive value, this power of example has meaning for your adult child.

Most important, throughout their adult lives, you can, if you want to, be an appreciative audience, understanding support, and cheering section for all your grown children as they journey through their own challenges in life.

Remember: What they wanted from you when very young, they continue to want from you when they grow older, too — affirming, attentive, approving responses to some very basic human needs.

“Watch what I can do!”

“Listen to what I did!”

“Tell me what you think!”

You see, that's all that your child ever really wanted from you in the first place: to shine in your eyes.