Because love is based on giving acceptance, and training (where discipline occurs) is based on making demands, parents often vary in which of these two parenting components they are most comfortable providing. You may find it easier to give acceptance, which is appreciated by your child, than to make demands, which often are not. Or you may find it easier making demands than accepting changes that are part of your child's normal growing up.

If you are prone to be a high-accepting parent, you may have to work to develop your demanding side — setting limits, stating requirements, and confronting hard issues. If you are prone to be a high-demanding parent, you may have to work to develop your accepting side — listening, compromising, and tolerating differences.

If one parent, in an effort to avoid conflict, tends to give most of the acceptance, and the other parent, in an effort to control, tends to make most of the demands, this difference can create a divide in the marriage. “You never show love to the kids, all you do is order them around!” “Well, you never get after the kids to behave; you leave all the unpopular parenting to me!” Whether you're raising children alone or with a partner, you need to have both accepting and demanding sides of your parenting in working order.