You can't set goals if you don't have dreams to fulfill. The first step is to contemplate what is most important to you and to establish a list of values. Values are your spiritual bottom line — what will ultimately bring you meaningful pleasure. Of course you value your children, but what is your intention toward them?

Perhaps it's building a secure future, which could entail establishing educational funds and providing a stable home in a safe neighborhood. Perhaps it's having more time to spend with them while they are young, or creating a business that will support all of you for the next ten years and build resources for your retirement, so you won't be a burden on them.

What you need is a mission statement for your life, something that conveys who you are, what you value, and what you want to accomplish — in one simple phrase. Simple doesn't mean easy; it means clear, concise, memorable, motivational, and purpose-driven. Esoteric statements lead nowhere.

Search your heart and soul for what matters most to you and give it a grounded spin. Saving the world cannot be done, but using your organizational skills to establish a nonprofit business that brings musical education into the local school system can be done. You want your dreams to be fanciful, yet achievable — in this lifetime.

Dream Big

Creating goals is not about lowering expectations, nor is it about taking jobs just to meet financial goals. It's about soul-searching to figure out who you are meant to be in this world and then envisioning new opportunities for yourself. All adults all have to support themselves — and single mothers have to support their children and their long-term goals — but you don't want to surrender your dreams. You want to plot and plan ways to incorporate your dreams into your livelihood. If you set goals to move toward your dreams, you can eventually create a life that is far more in sync with who you are and what you want for yourself.

Po Bronson, an author who tapped into a national obsession with his bestselling book, What Should I Do With My Life?, believes that business success in the future starts with just that question: What should I do with my life? “People don't succeed by migrating to a ‘hot industry’ or by adopting a particular career-guiding mantra. … They thrive by focusing on the questions of who they really are — and connecting that to work that they truly love, and in so doing unleashing a productive and creative power that they never imagined.”

Create an Emergency Fund

This needs to be short-term goal number one! Every financial advisor/ writer in the world stresses this point, and every struggling woman moans. Of course it's hard to accumulate a single month's expenses — let alone the recommended three — to cover emergencies. It's the reason insurance was invented, but emergencies arise that are beyond insurance. Cars break down, children break legs (requiring a babysitter while they recover), roofs leak, hot-water tanks fizzle, landscaping fries, and sometimes a woman needs a break.

Fat emergency-fund accounts accumulate interest and allow you to sleep soundly. Make your first short-term goal to be opening an emergency savings account of at least two month's salary. This cash pillow is requisite before you start investing.

Embrace Your New Reality

You are now on your own. Even if you receive spousal or child support or have a safety net from insurance payouts, every financial decision you make from this point forward is on your shoulders. They all need to be tailored to fit the reality of your new status. It's up to you to become an informed investor and a sound financial planner. As you ponder your goals, keep this very much in the forefront of your thoughts and then generate genuine ideas to bolster your financial status and to live your dream.