When you are freshly out of a bitter, acrimonious divorce, your perspective on everything is skewed. You are well on the way to separating your thoughts and beliefs from those of your ex-husband. It's time to rethink — and think outside the box — when it comes to money and all of its inherent, cultural, familial, subjective, and very personal meanings.

Rather than falling way to cultural biases, or to the limitations or unreasonable expectations of your parents or your former partner, it's time for you to sort out what you really believe — or what you want to work toward believing.

Now that you've filtered through your family's mythology, unearthing beliefs that subliminally affected your ideas about money and how to handle it, it's time to take a hard look at your most recent financial partnership.

First, you'll want to explore your singular financial history — how you were doing before you coupled. Then you'll want to take a discerning look at the ways in which your husband or partner impacted your thoughts about money, solvency, and investments, and how you handled money in general.

Use the following questions about how you and your partner handled money as a starting point:

• Were you financially sound prior to marriage?

• What were your personal financial habits prior to marriage?

• Were you happy with your financial situation?

• Were you happier spending or saving?

• What really made you happy?

• After marriage, did you let him take the financial reins?

• Did you truly feel that he was trustworthy?

• Did he make good financial decisions?

• Did you want what he wanted?

• Where did you differ?

• What drove you crazy?

• What did you learn from his/your mistakes?

• What would you have done differently?

• What did you learn from your successes?

This rethinking process is a critical step in reordering your financial universe. When you've cleared the decks of negative beliefs or limitations imposed by others, you create opportunities for new thoughts and beliefs to form. These new beliefs will become the cornerstone of your new financial philosophy, which will set things in motion and lead to a concrete action plan.

You have taken the first true steps to being and becoming financially independent — in control of your financial decisions and experiencing the joy that follows a job well done! Repeat this as your new financial mantra: I am reordering my financial universe, and I will soon reap the rewards.