First, you have to accept that absolutely everything has changed. You cannot go forward with a solid base if you don't get a firm grip on what your situation is now and from this point forward. You have to think for yourself, and think smart. The first precept might simply be “Do no harm.”

If you are uncertain what to do, keep the status quo until you feel more confident about your course of action. Focus on what requires your immediate attention: paying down debt or creating an emergency fund, for example. The first — and very important — task is to discover and record all aspects of your financial situation, as follows:

• Create a list of all your income.

• Create a list of all credit card and loan balances, including car loans, student loans, personal loans, mortgages, home equity or line of credit, and any taxes owed.

• Create a list of all retirement and savings accounts. Including health savings accounts, certificates of deposit (CDs), education accounts, and investments.

• Create a thorough list of all monthly expenditures, such as utilities, groceries, clothing, automobile gas and upkeep, education expenses, child care expenses, entertainment, and so on.

• Create a temporary livable budget that reflects your new circumstances.

• List and review insurance policies.

• If needed, name your children as beneficiaries on insurance policies, CDs, bank accounts, and retirement plans.

• Select guardians for your children.

• Create a rudimentary will and a living will until you can more properly create a lasting one.

Other than fulfilling the necessary, immediate tasks — establishing how much money you really have to live on, how it will be dispensed, and what you have to work with — it's advisable to wait at least six to twelve months before making major, or any long-term, decisions related to money. Even if you feel pressured, allow yourself time to steady your emotions and learn as much as you can about financial management before making major changes.