It's important at this stage to determine the quality of life you want to create for yourself and your children. No matter where you set your goals on the money continuum, it's important to define what's most important.

Begin by making a list of what really matters in terms of lifestyle, needs, and dreams, and then prioritize the list. Keep refining the list until you feel it reflects who you are, where you're going, and what you'll find when you get there. For instance, owning a home may be extremely important for some, while returning to school to obtain an advanced degree may be the primary goal for others.

What you are seeking is absolute clarity on who you are and how you want to live your life. Now that you are a single mother, you're the one steering the ship. Will you set your sails on a particular destination, charting and navigating through all the twists, turns, and setbacks likely to occur to reach it? Or will you relinquish your fate to the open sea, sailing in uncharted waters that may, or may not, have a good outcome?

The longer someone remains directionless, the longer they don't get anywhere. It's an undeniable fact that single mothers have a mother lode of daily child care responsibilities that make it difficult, at best, to find time to focus on what they want for themselves.

But it is important to realize that a single mother who doesn't focus on herself — and what she wants for herself in the long term — is likely to end up far poorer than she would have if she had taken the time to establish her bottom line and create concrete goals that get the ball rolling.