Comparing children within the same family (or even from different families) can create emotional upset. Children do not develop skills at the same ages, and every child is a unique person with strengths and weaknesses. This is especially true when one of the children has a disability. There are, however, some benefits of involving siblings in the goal process.

No one knows your child better than his siblings (and possibly yourself). His siblings share his child perspective on the world, family, neighborhood, and community. They undoubtedly have had many of the same experiences and will forever share memories from childhood. Siblings understand the pain that your child feels when he is teased by other children. They understand why he gets frustrated when things are difficult to do even though the same task may come easily to them.

Siblings can be the best encouragers for your child. He wants their approval and wants to be like them. He will work very hard at what they suggest, whether it is reaching for a toy, learning to tie his shoes, or studying the vocabulary for a science test.

Siblings (after a certain age) can offer valuable input on the “Now what?” question. The same way a sibling might suggest a logistic solution to a school problem (like leaving the afternoon books in a particular classroom because it is closer to the other afternoon classes than the locker is), she may have unique and valuable ideas about future goals. She knows her sibling well. She may be the one to suggest the perfect job or living arrangement.

The closeness of siblings has future benefits as well. A sibling is often the caregiver or trustee of a special-needs trust. At the very least (or most), a sibling is a confidant and advisor for life.