Expect great behavior from your child. For a child with special needs, you may need to adapt how you communicate your behavioral expectations. The guidelines and consequences will need to be especially clear and consistent for a child with a behavior disorder, hyperactivity, or impulsive behavior. A special need does not mean that a child has an excuse to act inappropriately.

Set Rules

You will need to decide on the rules. This sounds obvious, but too often parents have not thoroughly thought through their expectations. Even worse, they may not have come to an agreement between themselves on just what those expectations are.

Prioritize the rules you want your child to follow. He may not be able to understand a complex set of table manners, but he will understand the rule for saying “please” and “thank you,” and for clearing his own plate if you set the expectation. Once you have the basics, you can build on them.

Following and Understanding Rules

Sometimes following and understanding rules are two different things. This is similar to understanding why questions. Strive to have your child follow rules first. Then use pictures and straightforward explanation to help him increase understanding as his language skills develop.

Be aware that some kids with special needs have a lot of trouble visualizing consequences of their actions: I won't run on the wet pool deck because I might fall.

Age-Appropriate Behavior

Understand age-appropriate behavior. It is easy to focus on the progress your child is making and to lose sight of what other children his age are doing. He may love anything with an action figure design on it, but that may not be what most sixth graders are carrying on their lunchboxes. Help him choose a box with a design that might remind him of the action figure, but will look more age-appropriate.

Social Behavior

Help your child develop appropriate social behavior by establishing some basic dos and don'ts. A child with Down syndrome may not be ready to understand the behavior nuances for a boy-girl get-together, but he can understand that he should not hug every friend.