Follow-Through
Follow-through is an important part of your discipline plan. Without the possibility of a negative consequence, or the hope of a reward, a discipline plan is just words and pictures on a paper. Talk with your spouse about follow-through so that your plan is fully in place as you begin.
Warnings
Warnings about inappropriate behavior serve a purpose, but if warnings never become consequences, the warnings are meaningless. Two warnings are considered a good number. The first time, you are reminding your child that his behavior is not following a rule that has been explained ahead of time.
If the behavior continues, give him a second warning. The second warning tells him that you see the continuing behavior. You mean business. The next step is the consequence. Again, the consequence has been explained well before the situation.
Should a child with ADHD have consequences for his impulsive actions?
His impulsive behavior is in part due to his disability, and yet there should be a certain level of responsibility for his actions. Work with your child on strategies to control his impulsive behavior, but when he is physically aggressive, there should be consequences.
Make Your Words True
Be a parent of true words. Explain your expectations (model, talk, chart, or behavior contract) as well as possible rewards and consequences. Follow through consistently with your spouse. Give two warnings when needed. If the behavior does not change, then the consequence will follow.
Consequences
Make sure that the consequence fits the behavior. For example, your child may be breaking a rule by not clearing his plate off the table. But being grounded would be too severe a consequence for that behavior.
Choosing consequences that are appropriate for your family's discipline plan will depend on your child. Here are some to consider:
Time-out (This is often done in accordance with the age of the child. A five-year-old might get a five-minute time-out.)
Missing a preferred activity (DVD, TV program, outside play)
Early bed time
Loss of a privilege (cell phone, car, computer)
Grounding
Try not to have a household or yard job as a consequence. While the hard work will make an impression, you will be telling the child that routine work is a punishment. That is not the mind-set you want for future years.
Also try to avoid restricting parent-child bonding time as a consequence. Reading a bedtime story may be a nightly ritual. You and your child have a chance to talk as you build important literacy skills. Taking away that ritual to make a point about his behavior does more damage than good.
