An advocate is defined as “one that pleads the cause of another” by the Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. As soon as you were aware that your child had a special need you naturally became his advocate. Other people throughout his childhood and teen years will also plead the cause of his needs. By the time he is an adult, he will have learned the valuable skill of self-advocacy.

Advocacy in Your Family

After you address important medical decisions regarding your baby's care as a newborn, you will be ready to turn to advocacy in other areas of his life. Talking to your family will be the first task.

Perhaps you and your family had forewarning about your baby's needs. Often, though, a complication at birth or some unknown factor made it a surprise. You did not realize that your baby would have special needs.

It is important to be honest and yet sensitive as you initially talk with your family. If you are talking to your other children, they probably do not need too many details. “Joey has a special machine that will help him breathe. We have to be careful not to touch the tubes on the machine.”

Your own parents are probably well aware of the medical struggles of your baby. But if the disability is not discovered until the school years, it could be a different story.

Suppose you find out that your child has a cognitive delay and will be in special education classes. It is important to present your child's needs honestly with the amount of information that your family is ready to hear. You can further explain details as time goes on and they have become more adjusted to the news. Your child is still their cherished grandchild, and you are doing everything in your power to make the right choices for him.

Advocacy with Your Child's Peers

Your child may not be ready for a preschool play group at the community center when he is three, but sooner or later he will be in groups with other children. Children are accepting, supportive, and yet sometimes unknowingly cruel.

When your child first begins to take part in social groups, take part as well. Are the children blowing bubbles at a park? Give your child some chances to blow bubbles. Since this might be hard, offer to take some turns blowing so that everyone can catch the bubbles. The peers will see different ways that your child can play. They will become more open to including him in their fun.

Advocacy in Your Community

You may live in a large city where awareness of disabilities is strong, or you may live in a rural area where your child is the only one with a special need. Take a look at the community activities of yourself and your family and be proactive by talking about ways your child can participate. Give lots of positive feedback to those who make the effort to be helpful.

Become a coach for a community ball league in which your child would like to participate. The other coaches and the children on the team will get to know you and your child as people. The special need will be secondary. As you work with all the children, you will be an advocate for your child's unique needs. Soon some of the children will take over the role of advocate.

Advocacy at School

Be involved at school. Let your child's teacher and administration know that you want to do everything you can to help, but that you will not be a meddler. Volunteer where the school needs help, and you will see a natural, positive response to the needs of your child. Why? You are not telling them how to do their jobs. Instead, you are offering to be a team player.

Sometimes you will want to volunteer to make an activity more accessible to your child. For example, perhaps there is an after-school carnival run by the PTO. Your child would like to participate in the ball pit, but a physical disability makes it difficult. He is able to do all of the other activities independently. Sign up to help in the ball pit. You will be a part of the overall activity, and you will be an advocate for your child.

Sometimes you will need to be an advocate for your child to have services that you feel are appropriate. Bring examples of your child's class work that represent areas of your concern. During a discussion with your child's teacher or in a formal IEP meeting, you are your child's best advocate when you stay calm.