If you have been working on getting help for your child for many years, by the time your child is a teenager you may have become something on an expert on the subjects of what your child needs and what program he should have to get it. You are accustomed to advocating and planning for your child, and you have come to see his dyslexia as your responsibility

When your child is in his early teens, it is time to reassess and allow the dyslexia to become his responsibility. That doesn't mean that you stop caring, but it does mean that you allow your child a much greater role in planning for himself, including giving him the right to choose what sort of special educational intervention he wishes to have or to discontinue specialized therapy or tutoring. You don't want to give up on your child, but acceptance of limitations is not always the same as giving up. It is very rare that a teenager with dyslexia has no ability whatsoever to read; what is more common is that the teen reads at an elementary school level and that reading is difficult. Most teens in that position would like to read better, but teens also want to explore other interests. Your teen may simply decide he would rather devote his energies to something he is good at than on continuing to improve reading skills that he now feels are adequate for his needs. He may have talents in other areas, such as art, music, or athletics, where he would rather focus his energies, and he may be comfortable with the compensation strategies he has developed for areas of weakness.

It is important for your teen's self-esteem, and for family harmony, that you show her that you respect and accept her the way she is. A young child will simply accept the idea that her parents know what is best, and go along happily. Around the time of puberty, your teen may begin to see parental urging in a different light. Though your love and concern has not changed, your teen may see your well-intentioned advice as an indication that you do not have faith in her, or that you do not think she is good enough to meet your standards. During early adolescence, your teenager is essentially reshaping her own self-image and is very vulnerable to perceived negative messages. Thus it is crucial to her self-esteem that your role shift from manager to advisor, and that you allow her to exercise an increasing amount of control over her own life. Of course you are still a parent and should intervene when clearly necessary, but you need to also accept that your teen may make some decisions that do not fit with your hopes and aspirations for her future. If you secretly dream that your child will become a doctor, and instead your teen announces that she has decided medical school is too difficult and she has decided to train to be a paramedic instead, you need to be ready to accept that your teen's plans may be far more practical.