Your Child's Identity after Depression
Now that your child's depressive symptoms are gone or are present to a much more limited degree, it is time to help him plan for life after depression. His depression is
Who Is He Now?
One of the most important things you can do is to help your child develop an independent attitude. This means that he feels competent to face new challenges in the world and has a healthy “I can do it” attitude. This does not mean that he is so independent that he never needs your help, but he needs to feel that he has the skills within him lying in wait for these new challenges.
Essential
Successes always need to be celebrated, and this is true whether your child is depressed or not. Your child needs to understand that the good things he does continue to have importance and that he is a capable individual. This gives him the confidence to continue moving forward.
Important to his new identity is the ability to take personal responsibility for his actions. The excuse, “I have had depression so you'll need to give me a break” is not going to work. Your child needs to understand that whether he has a problem or not, he has choices about how to behave, and when he does the wrong thing, it's up to him to take the blame.
Mistakes Do Not Equal Failure
Continue to separate your child's mistakes from your child's identity. It's important to help him do this as well. Reiterate that your approval is never contingent on his successes or failures. Again, what you see as a success or as a monumental moment may not mean anything to your child. Take your lead from him in order to understand what truly matters in his life.
