By now you have learned that a child develops his sense of trust in the world from the early relationships that he has with his mother and father. If these relationships were positive, nurturing, and close, then he is at less risk for depression. However, if that bond does not develop, a child has problems internalizing a sense of security and safety.

If you have a history of physical or sexual abuse, your early relationships were probably not very healthy. You learned to view the world as a scary and distrustful place.

Your sense of caution and unpredictability about other people has probably continued throughout the years. You may find yourself feeling damaged, unlovable, and unworthy. In these early developmental stages, these feelings probably made you vulnerable to depression.

Projecting Your Feelings onto Your Child

There is no specific way to handle this type of abusive history. However, you need to be aware that the feelings you developed may be projected onto your children. You may have trouble forming a relationship with them simply because you did not learn to do so as a child.

The problem is that children do not understand the fact that you have problems stemming from your past. It is not their job to fix that, but they want to try anyway. It is not possible for a child to make you feel loved all by himself.

As a child begins to realize that you are not happy and that he is unable to help you, he begins to see himself through the same eyes in which you see yourself. The best thing that you can do is to get professional help to understand how your current relationships have been affected by your past and how to avoid passing on these unhealthy patterns.