One of the single greatest causes of heightened anxiety in children with Asperger's Syndrome is worries and concerns about the future, that is, not knowing what's coming next. Maintaining control is crucial to kids with Asperger's, and they may become quickly and easily unhinged when routines change without warning or others are privy to information that isn't shared with them or isn't communicated until the last minute. As a result, too many kids with Asperger's are medicated with anxiety-reducing drugs. This is intervention, not prevention. Before such medicine is prescribed, consider implementing any number of the recommendations in this chapter, foremost being the personal schedule.

Almost all people have some sort of long-term timekeeping device, be it a Palm Pilot, a calendar (perhaps it's even on your computer desktop or iPhone), or a hard-copy date book in which you can manually plan for a day, week, or month at a time. Have you ever misplaced your date-keeping device? If so, perhaps you can begin to appreciate the kind of nervous anxiety experienced by those who are at the mercy of others to stay informed of what's upcoming. The longer you go without having your schedule — and knowing you are still responsible for keeping to it — the more upset and distressed you're likely to become. Many people joke that they couldn't function without their schedule and are totally at a loss without it. Why should your child be without a similar way of tracking time and independently assessing impending events and activities? It makes more sense to quell anxiety and foster independent resilience in your child by helping her create a personal schedule.

How to Schedule

Here's how it works: If your child enjoys computers and other electronic equipment, go with him to select a Palm Pilot or other device to suit his needs and interest. If your child handwrites legibly enough for him to read his own writing — and he doesn't mind handwriting — then he may choose to use a hard-copy date book, like a daily, weekly, or monthly planner (available at any office supply store and an inexpensive alternative to a piece of technology). In any event, your child should select what appeals to him most, within your budget.

Wherever possible, in partnership with your child, set up the schedule for the next day (at first) the night before. Some parents already spend time tucking their child into bed and, at this time, verbally review the next day; this concept simply builds upon all that good and thoughtful stuff by making it tangible and concrete. Knowing what tomorrow is supposed to “look like” the night before, and having it all recorded so there's no forgetting or mistaking it, enables many kids with Asperger's to relax and sleep through the night.

What to Schedule

The times when the schedule will come in most handy are during those large, unscheduled, unstructured blocks of time like evenings, weekends, holidays, and summer vacation. It will be best to arrange the schedule in a specific sequence if possible. Try setting it up like a “To Do” list to visually identify what needs to get done and what you've accomplished. Start by scheduling one or two “preferred” activities (these may derive from your child's passions or interests) before scheduling a “nonpreferred” activity, like a household chore or homework. Continue in this sequence — preferred/nonpreferred/preferred — as much as possible. In this way, there is an incentive to use the schedule; there is a sense of accomplishment in visually observing one's achievements; and the schedule isn't perceived as a punitive device used by you to control or manipulate. Fade out your involvement as soon as possible in favor of your child having authority over making the schedule, within parental parameters of course. The schedule may also be used to indicate birthdays, anniversaries, special events, and appointments of all kinds.

When your child begins to “bug” you with repeated questions, or if she protests or procrastinates about a nonpreferred activity, simply refer back to the schedule — it's all there in black and white. You may suggest, “Well, what does your schedule say is next?” Many such confrontations between parent and child can be nipped in the bud because the child will realize that you can't argue with what's concrete (this doesn't negate occasional parental leniency, as you'd grant any child).

It's probably best not to schedule activities by specific times, unless your child wishes to do so, or you've agreed that Saturday night she can stay up an hour later, for example. Your child may be the type to become exasperated if the schedule isn't maintained to the minute. However, most children with Asperger's find it a very useful tool for feeling safe and comfortable and in control of knowing what's coming next.