Masturbation
Remember that many individuals with Asperger's have a strong associative connection when learning new concepts or social “rules.” If you send your child the message that masturbation is unequivocally wrong or perpetuate antiquated myths about going blind or growing hairy hands, he will believe it, and such notions will imprint upon your child a disturbing, harmful view of acting upon one's sexual thoughts through masturbation.
For many, masturbation is one of the few forms of pleasurable release that can be individually controlled. The essential concept to communicate here is one of public versus private masturbation. If you are unsure or uncomfortable about broaching the subject of masturbation, here is a sample story used to introduce the basics to a preadolescent boy. The strategy is that he reads it with a trusted ally (you, if that applies) and, afterward, has a forum in which to ask questions. The story should become his personal property, and he may review the “rules” about masturbation at his leisure. You can adapt the same story to meet the needs of your daughter.
My body is my own. My body is beautiful. My body is made up of many different parts, inside and out. Inside parts are like my heart and stomach. Outside parts are like my arms and legs. The outside parts that are between my legs and covered by my underwear are called my sexual organs. My sexual organs are my penis and my testicles. Many boys and men touch, rub, or gently pull their penis. When this happens, their penis usually gets bigger and harder. The same thing may happen to me. This is normal and okay. If I touch, rub, or gently pull my penis, this is called masturbation. Many boys and men masturbate. Masturbation is a choice that is my own to make.
If I choose to masturbate it may be because I am thinking about sex. It may be because I am thinking about another person. It may be because I want to feel good. It may be because I want some time alone with my body. It may be for other reasons.
When I masturbate, I may feel excited inside. I may breathe harder. I may breathe faster. This is normal and okay. When I masturbate, I may get so excited that my penis ejaculates. This means that something white and wet comes out of the opening in the tip of my penis. It is called semen or sperm. I may not ejaculate semen or sperm every time I masturbate. But if I do, this is normal and okay.
If I choose to masturbate, I will try to remember to masturbate in a private place. This means I will go to a place where there are no other people around. This means I will go to a place where I can be alone with my body. A private place may be my bedroom or a bathroom.
People masturbate in a private place because sexual organs are private. People wear underwear and clothes to keep their sexual organs private. People expect one another to masturbate in a private place. People will also expect me to masturbate in a private place. It is like a rule. A place that is not private is a place with other people around me. If I touch my sexual organs when I'm in a place that is not private — even if I'm wearing pants — people may be upset. They may laugh at me. They may be angry. They may report me to the police. They may not think I am smart. They may think these things because people expect one another to masturbate in a private place. If I masturbate in a place that is not private, I am breaking a rule that people expect me to know.
I will try not to touch my sexual organs, or put my hands in my pants, or masturbate in a place that is not private. I will try to remember to masturbate only in a private place. Masturbation is a choice that is my own to make. It is normal and okay.
