You will recall that mental health is one of the driving factors in “behaviors.” It is also the most ambiguous factor. Psychiatry, the practice of ascribing probable mental health diagnoses, is not an exact science. Determining a mental health diagnosis is predicated upon educated attempts to pin down the intangible. There is no single psychiatrist who can unequivocally state the precise mental health experience of any given individual; the experience is unique to each individual, so it may manifest in many nuances. The best a doctor can do is make an educated best guess based upon her professional expertise. She does this in conjunction with observing and interviewing a client and consulting the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (or other clinical documents) to narrow it down to a diagnosis based upon a series of symptoms — what the client reports of his experiences and how he presents during the interview.

There is a long-standing stereotype that perpetuates the belief that “junk behaviors” in people with different ways of being (including Asperger's Syndrome) are merely by-products of those experiences. But knowledge is power and, as a parent, your approach should be one of prevention instead of intervention. Remember the self-fulfilling prophecy? Understanding how to successfully avert its vicious cycle will directly influence your child's mental health.

To begin with, it is important to outwardly express your love and caring for your child in ways that she understands, using concrete pictures, words, and actions paired with validating statements. For example, you could set aside times to spend with your child and sing her favorite songs or create an arts and crafts project that builds upon one of your child's most passionate interests, while acknowledging that you love her and love sharing this kind of time with her. Together you are creating life movies for future replay.

Reinforce to your child that your love is unconditional — a tough concept for many kids, let alone the child with Asperger's, to grasp. Explain that, even though your child may make mistakes or do things you disapprove of, your love is constant and will never waver. Be certain to praise your child's accomplishments, gifts, and talents often. Highlight her successes, and tell her how happy and proud she makes you feel. Tell others about the amazing things she's accomplished as well, and, with her prior okay, make such comments publicly in her presence. Ask her to show you exactly how she did what she did and tell her how much you've enjoyed listening to her (even if it gets long-winded and tedious). Tell your child with Asperger's Syndrome that she is beautiful — not just physically beautiful, but truly beautiful inside. Tell her that her inner beauty is that of being a good human being who wants to give of her gifts and talents to others. Discuss how this inner beauty is the most valuable of all, far more important than physical attractiveness.

Why all the emphasis on glorifying your child? In doing so, you are incrementally fortifying the child with Asperger's Syndrome by laying a foundation of strong self-esteem. This will serve as ammunition as your child grows and enters adolescence and beyond. Never underestimate the power and long-lasting effect of your most loving words and actions. Your child will retain and replay the most memorable of such experiences for the rest of her life. They will buoy her when she needs it most.