Recognizing Asperger's in You or Your Spouse
If you find yourself suspecting that you or your spouse also has Asperger's Syndrome, please consider the following:
Arm yourself with knowledge and gather as much information as you can from the Internet or the resources listed in this book.
Broach the subject with your spouse by asking open-ended or leading questions that will provide opportunity for reflection, like, “Do you think our child gets her love of science from your side of the family?”
Because you are both still assimilating your child's experience, allow yourself and your spouse time to process this new twist on the situation.
The conversations you have about Asperger's in the family should build slowly and incrementally.
Avoid guilt, blame, and finger-pointing accusations like, “It's all your fault our child is this way.”
Offer to explore and research Asperger's Syndrome with your spouse or to provide your spouse with whatever literature you've already gathered.
Discuss marriage counseling or other professional supports in partnership with your spouse.
Understanding Asperger's as a probability for you and your spouse will be a learning time for you both. It can create marital stress and turmoil, or it can be an opportunity to strengthen and enhance your marriage.
Question
Is there an online resource for spouses if one or both are suspected to have Asperger's Syndrome?
Yes. Asperger's Syndrome Partners and Individuals Resources, Encouragement and Support, or ASPIRES, is a website for spouses and supporters of adults diagnosed (or believed to be) on the autism spectrum, with emphasis on problem solving within marriages and relationships. Check it out at
