It is hard for parents to think their child might be suffering in a physical or psychological way. If you are taking the time to read this, though, you must be concerned about how anxious your child is. Well, take heart; anxiety is one of the most common medical and psychological conditions in children and adolescents today. One in ten children may be affected by an anxiety disorder and it is the most frequent mental health diagnosis in America, surpassing depression. It is also the most treatable; 90 percent of children and adults successfully decrease their anxiety through lifestyle changes that foster empowerment, confidence, and independence. This has been achieved through a combination of psychotherapy, complementary and alternative medicine, and when necessary, medication.

How to Recognize Anxiety

Adults experiencing anxiety feel nervous, jittery, moody, and worried. You may not sleep well, and others might see you as agitated, irritable, or distractible. Children and teens can experience anxiety in much the same way. When young they often do not have the words to let you know what is going on for them, and teens get confused about how to balance what they know in their heads with the emotions they are feeling. So the anxiety creeps into their behavior, and shows itself in both overt and covert ways.

An example of covert anxiety is that while your child is studying for a test, he keeps biting his nails until they bleed. You see the damage, but do not know why. Or, your child complains he has a stomachache, which unbeknown to you disappears after a school test is over.

An example of overt anxiety is that before going to dance class your child has a meltdown when you ask her to put her dance gear in her bag. During the yelling, you hear things like; “I can't go to class, I will not have enough time to study tonight,” or “Stop being on me about everything, I'm only one person, how much can I take?”

The first line of defense is to know the signs that set normal fears and worries apart from more serious and ongoing anxieties.

While every child occasionally feels stressed, worried, or fearful, an anxiety disorder is diagnosed when your child feels excessively, unreasonably, often uncontrollably, and persistently worried. This worry will take over your child's thoughts, sometimes lasting for an extended period, and the hardest part for your child is that he will not feel like he can make it stop. You can sit down and discuss your child's fears with him, showing him they are not warranted, but he still cannot seem to make the worry and apprehension stop. If the distress your child feels extends to all areas of life including home, school, and with friends, then it is no longer “normal or expected” anxiety. Specific areas of concern occur when anxiety has affected school attendance, academic motivation, learning, concentration, memory, friendships, activity level, or sleep patterns.

The Two Components

Your child's anxiety typically will have two parts, physical sensations and emotional experiences. The most common physical sensations include stomachaches, headaches, back or neck aches, nausea, and sweating. The emotional component will consist of intense and constant nervousness, worry, and fear. Because there are physical symptoms, it is important to see your family doctor to rule out an illness first. Doctors have found that anxiety can be caused by thyroid disorders, encephalitis, hypoglycemia, irritable bowel syndrome, Group A Strep, or even pneumonia.

Is Fear the Same as Anxiety?

Although fear and anxiety are related, there is an important distinction between them. Fear is the appropriate reaction to a real danger or threat. One example is when a siren sounds to warn you of a tornado in your neighborhood and your child gets scared. In that scenario the brain is just responding to protect your child. Anxiety is the reaction to a perceived danger or threat, such as a thunderstorm in a neighboring county that your child has heard about on the news. Although there is no danger in your own neighborhood and you tell him that, his brain, which has been primed to overreact, jumps into action anyway and he gets anxious. Anxiety is more of a learned fear response that has been etched in your child's brain. This process will be discussed in detail in Chapter 2.