This widely used technique has been around since the 1930s. Progressive muscle relaxation, or PMR, is a two-step process of deliberately applying tension to certain muscle groups, contracting them, and then releasing the muscle and noticing it relax. The object of this technique is to help you and your child quickly learn to recognize what a tensed muscle and a completely relaxed muscle feel like. Then you both will be able to have more control over the first signs of tension that often accompany anxiety, and control it through noticing and releasing your muscles. Combining deep breathing with PMR achieves even better results.

How to Perform PMR

It is best to practice PMR in a quiet, comfortable place, wearing loose-fitting clothes and removing your shoes. You can lie down, but as is common with these types of exercises, it increases the chance that you or your child may fall asleep. Therefore, unless that is the goal, it may be better to sit in a comfortable chair. This is the process:

• Starting with your toes, tighten the muscles in your toes and hold for a count of five. Then let go, and notice and enjoy the release of tension for a count of thirty.

• Then, tighten the muscles in your feet and hold for a count of five. Again, relax through the release for a count of thirty.

• Continue by moving slowly up through your body; contracting and releasing each leg, your abdomen, back, neck, face, and eyes.

• With each body part, breathe through the muscle work deeply and slowly.

After you have finished with your entire body, relax with your eyes closed for a few seconds, then get up slowly and stretch.

Be Creative with Children

There are many fun ways to present breathing techniques to children. A simple way is to get a bottle of bubbles from a toy store or have your child pretend to blow bubbles. The breathing required is the same as for the calm breathing technique, but you can have fun trying to see who can blow the biggest bubble. This takes long, slow, steady breath, which increases relaxation. You can then tell her anytime she feels anxious she can say to herself, “I do not need to worry, I can do bubble blowing and make it go away!” Alternatively, for progressive muscle relaxation, you might suggest your child pretend she has a half of an orange or lemon in her hand. Ask her to squeeze it as hard as she can to get all the juice out. Tell her to feel how tight her hand and arm feels as she squeezes. Now ask her to pretend to drop the lemon and notice how her muscles feel when they are relaxed. Then do the process with her again. Tell her to take the other half of the orange in the other hand and squeeze, this time squeezing harder than she did the first time. Then ask her to drop the imaginary fruit and notice how her hand feels over a few seconds' time. Help her notice how much better her hand and arm feel when she lets go.