The Overextended Child
As mentioned in Chapter 1, professionals and parents today are concerned that their children are overextended. Though researchers agree that some structured activity is good for kids, the goal is to balance structured time with free time. If your child has anxiety, you'll want to be especially sensitive to how he seems to handle the demands of his schedule to help him from becoming overwhelmed. Conversely, some children with anxiety have trouble with unstructured time because they have trouble making choices and initiating activity. As such, you may need to coach your child a bit on how to create structure for himself. The tips below will help you determine if you or your child are overprogrammed.
Signs Your Child Is Overextended
Signs that your child might be overprogrammed include frequent fatigue, resistance, or refusal to attend activities, complaints about or lack of enjoyment of activities, aches and pains, frequent irritability, persistent feeling that there is not enough time, and worry.
If your child regularly experiences more than one or two of the above, it may be time to have a sincere talk with her about how to cut back on activities.
Fact
If, as you watch your child interact with others such as teachers, friends, and family, he seems to be overwhelmed, unfocused, or “not himself,” this may indicate that it is time to start assessing your child's schedule and ability to cope. The same can be said for your own responses to the demands of your schedule.
Signs You May Be Overextended
If you as a parent are overextended, you may experience any of the above. Some additional questions to ask yourself include: Do I feel like I spend my life in the car, going from one activity to the next? Do I skip meals or eat them while driving? Do we have time to be together as a family? Do I create time for hobbies and leisure? Am I getting enough sleep?
Depending on your answers to these questions, it might be time to consider reducing the amount of activity you and your child are involved in. Sometimes eliminating even one obligation can reduce stress dramatically and help everyone to breathe a bit easier. To maximize a child with anxiety's sense of control, allow her to make a choice about what she would like to let go of.
